The 12 assumptions we make about introverts that are completely wrong.

Quora users were asked What are the top myths about introverts? This was Dushka Zapata’s response.

Life is so much better if you are an extrovert. If you are an extrovert you are charged by social interaction. This is neither good nor bad; it’s just a way to understand yourself in relation to others.

Life is so much deeper if you are an introvert. If you are an introvert, social interaction depletes you. This is just a characteristic. It means you need to be alone to recharge. Sometimes when I’m alone I do think deep, deep thoughts, but mostly I just lounge and pad around my apartment in my cosy reading socks.

Introverts can be detected immediately. It is not possible to know if someone is an introvert just by looking at how they behave. Don’t assume or jump to conclusions. We can be extremely sneaky and can expertly avoid detection.

An outgoing, chatty person cannot be an introvert. Actually, many introverts are highly social and not shy at all (me). They will talk to strangers and feel at ease in social settings and are often confused for extroverts. Then, I will wilt and go home early.


Introverts are reserved, shy, socially awkward, quiet. They can be, but these characteristics have nothing to do with someone needing time alone to recharge. In other words, you can be shy and extroverted, socially awkward and extroverted, quiet and extroverted, reserved and extroverted.

Introverts don’t like people. Many introverts love people. People are awesome! We just need to modulate our people dosage.

Introverts are boring. Actually, “boring” is subjective. It means different things to different people. I think parties are boring. I think large groups of people are boring. I think chai and a colouring book is a rocking good time. (Pro tip: find all the people who agree on what “boring” means for you.)


Introverts need a bit of help to come out of their shell. Aaaaarg. If you “help me” “get out of my shell” what you are doing is telling me you don’t accept the way I am. You are trespassing on my boundaries. I like my shell. Please go away.

LISTEN: Where lies the line between introversion and ‘rudeness’? Bec Sparrow and Robin Bailey discuss, on The Well. Post continues after audio. 

Introverts are pessimists. While I am sure some introverts see the dark side of everything, pessimism and introversion (and pessimism and extroversion) are not related.

Introverts are more intelligent (or extroverts are so shallow.) Intelligence and depth are not related to someone needing to be alone to recover their energy.

Extroverts do certain things better, such as leading, selling, being assertive or speaking in public. Introverts and extroverts are both just right (or totally wrong) for all of these things. Needing to be alone to recharge is not related to your ability to do anything in particular.

If you’d rather be alone than with me you don’t really love me. Sigh. No. Me needing to be alone has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you or how I feel about you.

This post originally appeared on Quora, and has been republished with full permission.