Love blinded me.
On the first date, we both knew it was different, we both felt it – we just clicked. By the third date he told me he never wanted anything to do with my two kids.
“Having an instant family is not what I imagined or wanted for myself,” he said.
At the time I didn’t care, the last thing I was looking for was something serious after just leaving a seven-year relationship. He was fun, and sweet, and he kept up with my crazy humour and I wanted more.
It was the start to a long end for us.
Because when he looked at me, for the first time in a long time I was someone other than a mum. It was like I was flying and had met my match, and the more I experienced the feeling with him, the more I craved it like a drug. I was addicted to the high he gave me, ignoring the hellish withdrawal I knew would come the minute we parted.
He was 31, never married, and looking for a wife. There was pressure from his family to start his own, and pressure within himself to hurry up.
When he said, “I hope you don’t expect me to ever change my mind”, I was shocked at his willingness to come forward so early, because I knew he felt as strongly as I did. I am guilty of being selfish, and I probably wouldn’t have brought it up if he had been the one with kids.
Before him, I was happy to be separated. To be living alone. I had been preparing myself for this for a while – freedom I didn’t have anyone to answer to, and I didn’t have anyone’s needs except my own and my kids to think about. Then I met him.
Top Comments
Sounds like Mum had the sage advice. In this day and age, most 30-something pluses (and even younger) come as a package deal or with divorces - I imagine you'd miss out on a lot of great potential partners if you autimatically exclude them.
I honestly don't know why you wouldn't break if off with him as soon as he said he wasn't interested in your kids. Why continue any relationship when someone says at the start that certain things are deal breakers? And we're not even talking deal breakers about hypothetical children in the future, but two existing-always-going-to-be-around kids.