Women are always going to be in competition with each other.
It is a lesson that my mother instilled in me from an early age.
She constantly warned me that my friends would betray me. Although she had two very close friends that she had known since she was young she was bitter from the numerous friendships that had gone sour. Her motto was, "forgive but never forget".
Not only could women not be trusted according to my mother, but they were our competition.
Side note: We need to talk about the horoscopes and breakups. Post continues below.
I remember growing up with my best friend at the time, Anna, and hearing my mother’s critiques of her body and how she was “bow-legged.”
Whenever I would mention that a boy liked Anna instead of me my mother would instantly begin comparing our looks.
When Anna and I had a falling out when I was 16 due to a boy (as it happens when you are young) my mother felt that she had been validated.
She used that moment as a lesson for why I should have listened to her warnings. She used that moment to remind me why I should have never gotten close to Anna and that I deserved to get hurt.
I used that moment as a lesson that I would never again choose a boy over a friend because I felt the loss so incredibly deeply.
Recently I was listening to an episode of one of my favourite podcasts, Almost Thirty about Healing the Mother Wound.
One of the hosts, Krista, takes us through her journey of working through the tumultuous relationship she had with her mother growing up.
As I listened to her story, there were multiple parts that resonated with me.
Krista talks about how as women we grow up in a society where we are told that much of our worth is in our looks and that we are difficult to handle.
Young boys are easy whereas we are told that as women we are, “drama” and “emotional” and that’s why we should not even trust our own gender.
Then she talked about how the one thing that has healed the wound she had from the relationship with her mother was the solace and companionship that she found in the sisterhood.