"We wanted to become mums and our journey to parenthood was a little different to most."

For most of my adult life I teetered back and forth between dating men and women. Deep within my heart I wanted to have a family one day.

It was the 1990s and early 2000s and I lived in country Australia.

I had no real notion of the variety of humans aside from the small glimpse I got when I watched Sydney Mardi Gras as a kid on free-to-air television.

Growing up, my parents were progressive but we weren’t surrounded by gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. It was OK, but I wasn’t exposed to enough to know where I fit in.

As I got older, I always had more meaningful relationships with women, but thought I would settle down with a man so I could have a family. IVF existed in Australia but it was predominantly for straight couples struggling to conceive.

The option of going it alone was very limited with IVF clinics in the mid-2000s stipulating whether or not they helped single women. There weren’t many that did.

One day I packed my car, set off into the sunset and headed for Sydney, where my memories from Mardi Gras parades came rushing back. I was certain I would find happiness in the big smoke.

 

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A post shared by Jude, Stacy and Amanda (@twomums_plusone) on Aug 25, 2018 at 1:39am PDT

I went on a blind date (thanks to the internet!) with a woman named Amanda. The two of us hit it off – we found ourselves spending more and more time after work and on weekends.

There was no pressure to put a label on what we were but things naturally blossomed into a committed relationship.

We told family and friends about one another then the urge to merge came not too long after. We found ourselves as a couple in a house with three other female-loving women in Sydney’s inner west.

By this point, I was in my 30s and could feel my biological clock was ticking.

We had talked about having a family. Amanda wasn’t the maternal type but was keen to be a parent and support my desire to carry.

After research and hearing other people’s journeys, we wanted to try at-home insemination. If it didn’t pan out we were going to connect with an IVF clinic.

We asked a friend to help us on our journey and they generously said yes.

The next step was tracking my cycle. For three weeks, I tracked my ovulation by taking my temperature in the morning before getting out of bed and a clever app that put it all into a diagram to tell me when it “spiked”.

When that occurs it is the optimum time to insert sperm via a needle-less syringe. An ovulation kit backed up the temperature spike, confirming it was go-time.

The day arrived and we inserted the sperm. Amanda and I laughed a lot afterwards, knowing not many people would really get this situation.

While the actions were of a serious nature, we weren’t so sure it would work the first time. Boy, were we wrong! The two-week wait flew and I swung by the pharmacy on the way home to purchase a pregnancy test.

It came back positive.

I was a little gob-smacked, so I went back to the pharmacy and bought two more pregnancy tests. Sure enough, the tests came back positive. We were pregnant!

The pregnancy itself progressed like most do - my stomach grew and we both loved being able to feel the kicks and punches of our little fighter inside.

We moved out of our share home into a little house where the three of us - mummy, mumma and son - could begin life as a family.

Amanda spent a few nights towards the end of the pregnancy painting my growing belly. I lay uncomfortably on the couch while her paintbrush swirled masterpieces. We look back on these colourful creations with such fondness and plan to do it again for baby number two.

At 36 weeks we found ourselves in hospital. A few days later I was induced - he was coming a little earlier than expected.

We didn’t have a change table or one of those fancy nappy bins that deodorises and disguises the smell of poo. But it didn’t matter, we didn’t need it.

From day one I felt blessed to be a parent. To have a little human that I could show the world. Nothing prepared me; it has been both terrifying and beautiful. I wouldn’t change a thing, even when I didn’t have any shoes that would fit me when my feet began to swell beyond recognition.

There have also been many “firsts” together.

We had one recently when our big boy started kinder. The emotions reminded me of when he arrived in the world - an overwhelming desire to protect. I don’t think that feeling will ever dissipate.

Here’s to bringing up the next generation of humans. And a big thank you to the universe for giving us the privilege that many same-sex couples before us didn’t have the chance to do. We are truly the luckiest people in the world!

Do you have a story to share about your road to parenthood? Tell us below.