We spend our lives running from death. It is imprinted on us from a very young age to follow the path of ‘do this, or take that’, all in order to “ live longer ”. It is no wonder most of us utterly fear any conversations about death. It seems that most of us would especially prefer to avoid a conversation about how we might want to die with our nearest and dearest. In fact, research shows that 75% of us have not had any end of life discussions and 45% of us die without a will.

A man sings to his 93-year-old wife and it is, put simply, beautiful. Post continues below…

What I’ve learned about dying is that it’s not something we can run and hide from. We are all dying. We are all going to die. We may not be able to choose how or when it happens but we can prepare a way to do it well. We can make choices early in life and put a plan in place, or at the very least have the discussion with family members so that when the time comes they know exactly what we want to happen.

I have seen how making and communicating choices about death empowers people. Choices in death allow people to focus on the love in their final days. Even if they have already departed then those choices that have been made before death can allow family and friends to focus on the love.

This is how we do death well. We do it well when we throw away the list of do’s and don’ts . When we turn our backs on what we have been told it should look like since we were children. When we replace the fear with love and warmth and kindness. When we tell each other it is okay to talk about death and it is more than okay to say exactly what you want.