
I never really thought about breastfeeding when I was pregnant with my first child. I mean, I knew that I wanted to give it a go but that was pretty much the extent of things. I was young and without any other mummy friends to share their stories I just assumed that breastfeeding would come naturally.
It didn’t.
In fact none of the aspects of my son’s birth came naturally. I reluctantly checked in to the hospital to be induced well past my due date. After three fun-filled days he still wouldn’t come out. Eventually I was staring up into the glare of surgical lights playing the lead role in an emergency C-section that I never planned on having.
The important thing was that he made it into the world safely. Once he was in my arms the midwife asked if I planned on breastfeeding. “Uh, yeah. I think so,” came my response.

Image: iStock
Except he had not read the baby manual. There were tears and frustrations. His attachment was bad and he wasn't getting enough milk so he wanted feeding hourly. This was torturous because I was in agony, my nipples were cracked and bleeding. I was sporting a set of massive boobs that would make Pamela Anderson jealous but every time I tried to use them we would both end up screaming and crying.
I saw midwife after midwife, who all had different advice, which left me more confused. The way they explained breastfeeding made it seem like it was just so easy. I had strangers squeezing my boobs until I cried, I couldn't wear a bra but I was so engorged that my boobs were leaking everywhere. I hated it, I hated the whole thing and my inability to feed him properly was impacting the way I felt about this beautiful baby.
I distinctly remember one night about 11:30 pm I had been sitting in the chair with him for hours trying to get him to feed properly, he was screaming because he was hungry and frustrated at me. My husband was on the phone to the breastfeeding association desperate for some help in what we felt was a very isolated position. I felt like a total failure at motherhood and I hadn't even been in the job for two weeks. I was spiralling down, fast.
Top Comments
Nice article and some great comments below. Only I will say to those mothers that elect to bottle feed, you are not 'giving up'. Sometimes, for a range of reasons, breast may not be best and bottle can be better. However you feed your baby is up to do. Do what's right for you and your child, which means sometimes putting your needs first. A mother can't serve from an empty vessel.
I really don't understand how women in this day and age think that breastfeeding will just 'come naturally'. Every pregnancy book, every class about breastfeeding, every article about it mentions that women believe that to be true, but it just isn't, that most women have at least some issue or problem along their breastfeeding journey.
I'm very glad that you persevered, and I'm sorry that not one of the midwives who saw you in hospital thought to use the hamburger analogy (or the mail in the slot or any of the fifteen or so analogies to explain the angles required for successful breastfeeding). That's very poor service on their behalf.
I hear you Zepgirl. I think the same thing every time I hear/read of people being surprised at how difficult parenting (especially in the early days) is and that it's not all rainbows. I mean seriously people have you never read a related article or observed a new parent around you before you personally had a kid. To me the negative stories are so overpowering that I'm terrified of having a child myself