“I’m just a woman in love with another woman”

Cynthia Nixon is one of my favourites on Sex and her private life has been as interesting as her character’s. Apart from her battle with breast-cancer last year (something she kept private until it was over), she also fell in love with a woman a few years ago and is now in a happily committed relationship with her.

I think they’ve both been terribly brave by coming out and the poor girlfriend has had an awful time of it – people have been very cruel commenting about her appearance. It seems like we’re prepared to accept women being gay only if they look hot like Portia de Rossi….shame on us.

In an interview, Cynthia talks fluently and eloquently, matter-of-factly relating details of the furore that arose when she left Danny Mozes, the father of her two children, Charles, 15, and Samantha, 11.

“I started dating my girlfriend in January 2004,” she says, “and the press got wind of it around the time I won the Emmy. There were paparazzi in front of my apartment and outside my parents’ home. I said yes, it was true, I was romantically involved with a woman but I wasn’t going to talk about it until everybody calmed down…..

“In terms of sexual orientation I don’t really feel I’ve
changed. I don’t feel there was a hidden part of my sexuality that I
wasn’t aware of. I’d been with men all my life, and I’d never fallen in
love with a woman. But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. I’m just
a woman in love with another woman.”

Her girlfriend, she says, has taught her to take life more easily.
“As I get older, I think, ‘Why am I breaking my back to return these
movies to the video store and do the laundry and pay all the bills
today?’” she says.

“My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then
resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time
when we don’t do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie.”

Same-sex marriages aren’t recognised in New York but if they become legal she’d think about getting married.

“I’ve always been wary of marriage,” she says. “I felt it was a
potential trap because some people want the party and the gifts and the
public celebration – rather than the commitment. But, if it becomes
legal, we might. My girlfriend is interested, whereas my boyfriend
never was. I also think that for us to get married would be a little
act of rebellion.

“It’s like getting the vote – you’d do it because you’ve never been allowed to before.”

Here’s how they might look at their wedding

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