I know my daughter is happy, but I can’t help but think she’d be much happier if things were different.
I’ve recently decided to stop having kids but with a lot of regret. I have three healthy and happy children who are all in school and while I’d love to have a couple more, I’m almost forty, busy, working and I just don’t think I have it in me to have another.
As happy and healthy and beautiful as my children are, there is one thing missing and that is a sister for my daughter.
I have two boys aged 10 and 7 and then my daughter who is 5. She loves her brothers and they all get along well but when I see her with her female friends at school I realise how special it would be for her to have a sister. Nobody knows how wonderful it is to have sisters better than me because I have two I couldn’t live without.
Which makes me feel even more sadness for my daughter.
I grew up the youngest of three girls and eight years after my arrival we got a little brother who grew up being bossed around and overwhelmed by three older sisters. He could have used a brother to back him up but he survived. We only dressed him up in skirts and put makeup on him once a month, twice max.
I remember all the mischief my sisters and I used to get up to. I remember how much I adored them both, my older sisters, how much I craved their attention and their approval and how I always felt blessed whenever they did something for me. We fought and screamed and attacked each other on a regular basis but even our worst times form fond memories now.
We are all mothers now, and we couldn't live without each other. My daughter will never have that. She'll never get to raise her kids with a sister.