"There's only one thing missing from my otherwise perfect family."

I know my daughter is happy, but I can’t help but think she’d be much happier if things were different.

I’ve recently decided to stop having kids but with a lot of regret. I have three healthy and happy children who are all in school and while I’d love to have a couple more, I’m almost forty, busy, working and I just don’t think I have it in me to have another.

As happy and healthy and beautiful as my children are, there is one thing missing and that is a sister for my daughter.

I have two boys aged 10 and 7 and then my daughter who is 5. She loves her brothers and they all get along well but when I see her with her female friends at school I realise how special it would be for her to have a sister. Nobody knows how wonderful it is to have sisters better than me because I have two I couldn’t live without.

Which makes me feel even more sadness for my daughter.

My daughter Caterina (right) and her beloved cousin and fill-in-sister, Gia.

I grew up the youngest of three girls and eight years after my arrival we got a little brother who grew up being bossed around and overwhelmed by three older sisters. He could have used a brother to back him up but he survived. We only dressed him up in skirts and put makeup on him once a month, twice max.

I remember all the mischief my sisters and I used to get up to. I remember how much I adored them both, my older sisters, how much I craved their attention and their approval and how I always felt blessed whenever they did something for me. We fought and screamed and attacked each other on a regular basis but even our worst times form fond memories now.

We are all mothers now, and we couldn't live without each other. My daughter will never have that. She'll never get to raise her kids with a sister.


My oldest sister and I were so incredibly co-dependent when our children were young that we simply couldn't have functioned without each other. She has two boys and a girl as well. Our secret plan is that our daughters will be as close as sisters when they get older. There is a five year age difference so it's not quite working out that way at the moment, but they love each other. We know they'll get here. We live in hope.

My daughter will never to raise her kids with a sister.

One of the reasons it took me so long to decide I had finished having children was because I desperately wanted to give her a sister but I could have ended up with another boy which would have been fine by me, but probably not for her.

She'll probably never know exactly what it is she is missing out on. I try and make up for it by playing dress ups with her and letting her put makeup on me. It's not the same, but it will have to do.

Does my daughter need a sister? Did my boys need a brother?

At the end of the day I am so incredibly blessed to have the family that I have and I am so incredibly blessed to have my sisters (and my little brother). We get what we get, and we make the most of it. That's what she'll do too.

Do you think it's important for children to have a same-sex sibling?

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