A dude in LA has won the legal right to change his surname to that of his new wife.
Michael Buday married Diana Bijon and wanted to become Michael Bijon.
Now he is. But it took two years, a lawsuit alleging sex discrimination and a
change in California law before he picked up his new drivers license in
the name of Michael Bijon on Monday.
From Reuters:
“It was personal. I feel much closer to (Diana’s) father than I do
mine. She asked me to take her name and I thought it would be very
simple. I never imagined the state would make it so difficult,” Michael
Bijon, 31, told reporters.
He discovered it would take a $350 fee, court appearances, a public
announcement and mounds of paperwork to make a change on his driving
license that is routine for women who marry.
After months of frustration, the Los Angeles computer programmer and
his ER nurse wife Diana, 29, took their problem to the American Civil
Liberties Union of Southern California.
A double barrel name would have been no problem, nor would Diana and
Michael deciding to each keep their birth names. But California and
some 40 other U.S. states provided no place on the marriage license
application, and driving license, for the groom to choose the bride’s
surname.
“Women have fought for so long for equal rights and it feels like
this is part of that fight,” said Diana Bijon. “When we got married,
the law basically said, ‘Don’t be silly, only a woman can change her
name when she gets married.'”
“I am really, really proud of him. Not many men would do this,”
She’s right about that. My friends who are in their forties pretty much all kept their names when they got married. But my friends in their thirties and twenties all changed theirs. I don’t know anyone who has done the double-barrel thing, let alone gone with the wife’s name. Rad.
Odd that it’s such a surprising thing to do really…..
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Top Comments
seems there was no actual LAW against their decision, just no allocation in the PAPERWORK!
how often is bureaucracy an impediment to change, and how rarely is it challenged? good on the couple for blowing the dust off the unimaginative clerks of the world who would run it, not so it reflects and encompasses contemporary society, but so it is somehow "easier" (read "lazier").
and fyi, i kept my name (i liked it), my husband kept his name (he liked it), and our kids have my name as a second middle name — that way they are free to choose whatever name they prefer in the future.
ps. great story, Mia!
@Lou - I agree it shouldn't be a big deal - but when men make it a big deal, its time to restore balance. The fact that men (and their families) get offended when women politely ask them to change their names (let alone when women just choose to keep/hyphenate their own name without making any requests of the man), while women are expected to quietly agree when men (and their families) ASSUME without even asking that the woman will change her name to his ... then it is a sign of inequality that should not be tolerated any longer.
Secondly while you are the same person genetically, environmentally you are treated differently when you take his name vs keeping your own vs choosing a new family name (what we did). So what you do with your name after marriage is important because it affects how you are viewed, so you need to think about what message you want to send. In my case, I think our marriage sends a message of equality because we met each other halfway and collaboratively picked a new surname that we both liked that we felt represented our vision for our family.
We would expect (though not obligate) our daughter (or son if we had one) to do the same when she (he) gets married – collaboratively pick a new name that she (he) feels represents her (his) vision for her (his) new family.
Hyphenating your kids surname only delays the problem, sooner or later their kids are going to have to drop a name. And if you can’t give credit to everyone who dserves half the credit for your genetics (your mother, your grandmother, etc) then its only fair to give credit to no one. That way as well, your achievements/failures as an adult don’t reflect on one half of the family, they reflect on you only (then your behaviour will only reflect on them when relevant – when you thank them during acceptance speeches).
I think my husband is extremely brave and a pioneer for not just women’s rights but equal rights (despite having a strong Italian catholic family). And of course I use “Ms” as my married status is irrelevant to my value as a citizen (so utility forms don’t need the specification, especially since men get along just fine without outward symbols of engagement or their title specifying their maritial status).
The other thing we do is we talk about it as though it was a couple decision (implying that both of us considered changing/keeping our names, not just the feminine partner): “We BOTH decided to keep our own names” OR “We BOTH decided to make _______ the family name”