It’s a line that most women will find themselves using during their pregnancy. But is it insensitive?
A pregnant woman calling herself Galadrielsring posted on UK website Mumsnet that she had gone to a party and was asked by friends if she wanted a boy or a girl.
“I replied that I didn’t mind, as long as it was healthy,” she wrote.
“Woke up this morning to a massive long email from one of the friends’ husbands, the gist of it saying I’m hugely insensitive and have really upset my friend who has been in tears all night, as saying that I only want a healthy baby invalidates their daughter’s (who has cerebral palsy) life, that I owe them a ‘big big apology’ and that they don’t think they can be friends with someone with my attitude towards disability.”
Galadrielsring said she knew her friend’s daughter had cerebral palsy.
“We all fundraise for her as she needs a specially adapted chair. I love that little girl and would do anything for her, and they know this, which is why the email was so shocking.”
She said she thought her friend was being “ridiculous”, and was struggling to see what she’d done wrong.
“Surely everyone wishes for a healthy baby? I don’t know whether to reply or just leave it.”
Responses were mixed. Some people felt she should stand her ground and refuse to apologise. One woman said the husband was being “a cheeky f—ker”.
“I would reply something like: ‘Firstly I owe nobody a big big apology and I won’t be issuing one. I was asked a question and gave a fairly standard answer.’”
Melinda Hildebrandt on the moment she found out her daughter was deaf. She speaks candidly to Mia Freedman about parenting her daughter who has autism and is deaf. Post continues after audio.
Others were even harsher.
“Stop justifying entitled behaviour by guilt-tripping women into apologising for doing nothing wrong.”