This week, on our first episode of Mamamia Out Loud for 2017, we received a question from a listener who wanted our advice.
I’m turning 29 this year and I’m really happy with my life. I love my friends and family and I have a successful career, but there’s one thing that really troubles me.
I’m single and I really, really don’t want to be.
When it comes to every other aspect of my life I feel somewhat in control. I can write down goals and actively work towards them.
But ever since I was a teenager I’ve really valued romantic relationships. I’ve been single for almost five years, and although I’m busy and social, I feel a sense of loneliness.
Most of my friends are in long term relationships and I can’t help but feel envious.
What do I do? Do I just have to resign to the fact I’m single and accept my lot? Or is ‘finding someone’ a project I can actually pursue?
Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and Jessie Stephens discuss Sarah’s question on this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a piece of listener correspondence that resonated so deeply.
And despite it being something I’ve thought about extensively, it’s also something I’ve never dared say out loud.
The fear that you might never meet someone is probably quite normal. After all, every piece of media we consume, from movies, music, advertising and literature, thrusts what Jeffrey Eugenides has termed ‘the marriage plot’ onto us.
The story is explicit and universal: the greatest joy in life is to find love.
Without it, you’re incomplete. Love is what a ‘happy ending’ looks like, especially for women. A man can be your ‘saviour’, the only person who truly understands you. Before him – life just didn’t make sense.
Like 29-year-old Sarah, I’m really happy. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been. But I’d by lying if I said it didn’t feel like something was missing.