“When are you guys going to start having babies?”
My husband and I got married 12 months ago, and have been together for a total of eight years.
Even before we got married, the questioning about when we were going to have kids was relentless. The wedding provided us with a socially acceptable response, we would laugh and say “lets actually get married first then we’ll think about babies.”
That excuse now no longer applies, meaning we have to come up with something else.
Jokingly, I tell people that I’m too much in love with red wine to possibly even consider falling pregnant.
The truth isn’t as funny or witty. The truth is partly that I’m not ready, and partly that I'm undecided if I ever want to have a baby.
As women, I feel we are chastised for not wanting to procreate. Jennifer Aniston summed up so eloquently this week, societies perception of women without children, when she addressed media speculation that she was pregnant: "This notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children."
You've hit the nail on the head, Jen.
As a society, we are so quick to judge others and their life choices. We pass judgement on those who have a different view to our own.
Listen to Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and Kate De Brito discuss Jennifer Aniston's comments about not wanting children. Post continues after audio.
The concept of my husband and I not having children leaves people aghast. It is incomprehensible to them that, we may choose not to have ANY MORE children.
That's right, we already have a child. My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship, making me her step mother. I realise biologically she is not my child, but I am completely consumed by love for her, and together the 3 of us are a family.
When asked when we’re going to have a baby, “we’ve already got one!” is not a satisfactory response for them. They smile and say “yeah, but…” YEAH BUT NOTHING. She is our child, stop discounting her existence. Just because biologically she is only my husbands, and just because she does not live with us full time, doesn’t make her any less important, or any less apart of our family.