I thought I would write a little bit of my view upon dating an “Available Mum”.
I sit with these terminology a lot better, as “single mum” really adds the aspect of “destined to be alone” right? I just wanted to let you know, I don’t actually believe that is the case.
I broke up with my baby’s dad 11 months ago and I can tell you it was amicable. We broke up because as much as we tried, we just were not happy together. We had a lot of respect for each other (we still do) but we lost the feeling and throw a baby into the mix, and there were too many small arguments and all of a sudden we were “too tired”.

I remember making a decision believing there had to be more to life than this and not knowing the outcome or what would come next, I chose happiness and growth, took a chance and we separated. Another chapter had begun.
I gave it some time but decided I really did want to date (I hadn’t really experienced this before) and you know what, there is only so much Peppa Pig and Uber Eats you can do on alternate Weekends.
I have been experimenting with app dating, like Bumble. I know, I know, I said it may not of been my thing but honestly, in this day what don’t we do from an app?
So did I put on my dating profile “single mum”? No, I chose not to because that is not my identity in the slightest.
Top Comments
On the one hand I really like that you don't define your identity as a single mom. I feel like there is a lot of pressure on women to lose the identity they had before the became pregnant and define themselves completely as a mom who does and likes mom things and if not they are not 100% committed to their child. I feel like a child shouldn't completely take over who a woman is.
That being said you have to understand where potential partners are coming from. Even if you don't want a replacement dad that partner will eventually have to be somewhat involved in that child's life. If it is a serious longterm relationship you are looking for they need to know from the beginning. What if you move in together? That means living with a kid. Its impossible for a partner to have no contact with your child and for some that's a dealbreaker. Plus your child will always, rightfully, be your first priority. Always being second to a kid that's not yours is a lot to ask someone. I'd never date a single dad for these reasons and I'd want to know that he had kids from the beginning so I could avoid a messy breakup later on.
As a single mum whose husband walked out on two kids & I & doesn't pay child support, I'm way too busy working to feed & clothe my kids to worry about dating. My kids don't need any more adults in their lives to let them down.