GROUP THERAPY: “My husband wants to go on a holiday with his friend. His female friend.”

It’s not unusual for two people in a longterm relationship to want to go on separate holidays. But how about when the man wants to go on holiday with another woman – does that make any difference?

This is the problem facing a woman on the website Mumsnet.

She has been with her husband for nearly 10 years and they have a child who is almost 18 months old. The husband’s longtime best friend is female, which the woman admits bothered her at first.

“However, after all these years, I can honestly say that I have no issues with her,” she added.

“I class her as a friend as well and actually find it nice that my husband has such a close friend.”

What should this Mumsnet user do? Image: Unsplash.

The woman says her husband has 10 days off work coming up, and has found out that his best friend has some of that time off as well. They’ve begun making plans to have five nights away together.

“He did ask if I would like to come as well, and our child, but unfortunately I cannot have the time off due to work commitments,” she writes.

“For the record, my issue isn’t him going away with his friend, it’s more the issue that he wants to go away and leave us for five days when we get limited time together as it is.”

The woman says she told her husband that the money he wanted to spend on the holiday could be put towards new carpet for the house.

“His answer was it’s his money, he works hard for it, so he wants to enjoy it for a change!”

Some of the people who replied didn’t see a problem with what her husband wanted to do.

“My husband and I have often had trips away without each other or the kids in our 17 years of marriage,” wrote one woman.

“In fact, I'm off to Spain for five days in May with some friends and he is free to do so also.”

“My husband and I have been on loads of separate holidays,” added another. “The 'he is leaving is for five days' sounds very needy, to be honest.”


Group therapy has been continued... Are boys nights sexist? The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss. Post continues after audio.

Others suggested the woman should plan a trip away herself.

“I'd tell him it absolutely isn't a problem and wish him a lovely time, [and] that you hope he enjoys it just as much as you're going to when you go to Paris with your best friend in September.”

Several thought that the husband should take the child on the holiday.

“I would tell him you're gutted you can't join them due to your working commitments but your child can go so he needs to factor that into the plans,” proposed one.

“That way you get a bit of a break as well. His reaction to that suggestion would say it all for me.”

Others felt that her husband going away with a woman was completely unacceptable.

“I'm clearly an uptight cow but there's not a chance I'd be okay with my husband off on a coupley holiday with another woman,” said one.

“He is giving up time he could have with his child for his female friend?” asked another. “Let her have his company, for the long haul. Have his stuff in the garden for his return.”

Would you be okay with your partner having a five-night holiday with a friend?