When my ex-husband and I first fell in love, he was really happy with me.
When I took the time to point out my flaws he would shut me down, insisting he was happy with me just the way I was. And just like that old Billy Joel song, Just The Way You Are, which happened to be a hit when we were first hitting the sheets, I thought his acceptance of me was very romantic.
Sadly, I was not. And after much trepidation on my part and much reassurance on his, I finally decided to take my husband at his word.
I got comfortable and settled in to what looked like happily-ever-after with a man I had decided I could trust completely. I let down my guard and let my freak flag fly. “He likes me, he really likes me!” I told my family and friends.
I could be myself; live my life without altering my behaviors to suit a man. Everything felt so right.
And then, wham! All of the sudden he really didn’t seem to like me anymore. He liked the idea of me, his fantasy version of the perfect me as seen through his eyes. But the real me? Not so much.
I was confused by his about-face and his behavior left me wondering where I’d gone wrong. I’d trusted him; taken him at his word and had come to find that his word meant absolutely nothing. He had become, in effect, a love flip-flopper.