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The pornographic parody of Hunger Games is hilariously good.

Look closely at this image.
Look closely at this image.

May the odds be ever in your beaver.

That’s the tagline for The Humper Games, a porn parody of The Hunger Games.

This has given us a lot of delight today… but not in the kind of way a porno would perhaps usually delight.

Wood Rocket, a porn company that tops the game in porn-parodies, went hard with this one (that’s the first of many porn puns). The Humper Games opens with Effyou (in the real thing, the character is called Effie) in District 69. She introduces us to the porn protagonist – not Katniss Everdeen, but Kantmiss Everyween.

EffyouEffyou is wearing clothes. For now.

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Whoever has the job of coming up with the porn parody names just won our deepest respect (Porn Pun 2).

We’re a bit sketchy on the plot, because it’s a little more complicated than the standard boy-meets-girl-then-they-bang porno plotline. But at one point, Kantmiss shoots someone in the eye. Not a porn pun. She shoots them with an arrow.

There’s a pretty tasteless reference to Jennifer Lawrence’s leaked naked photos from the celebrity hacking scandal, but pointing out tasteless references in a porn parody is probably a waste of time.

KantmissKantmiss Everyween definitely does not miss the ween of Puta Malarkey. She locates it.

The equivalent to Caeser Flickerman (porn name = Pleaser Fuckerman, of course) demands that the audience of Panem see Kantmiss’s boobs, and if they don’t he will leak her secret sex tape. She kills him with an arrow. Hot.

We know what you’re wondering. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SEX?? Well, we actually didn’t get all the way in (Final Porn Pun, promise). But all reports say that it was pretty standard. Kantmiss Everyween and Puta Malarkey get it on for a satisfying (though maybe fake on Kantmiss’s behalf) fifteen minutes, and there’s no sign of the three-finger salute (LAST ONE, REALLY).

If you want to laught at the whole thing for free, you can watch it here. But obviously, this is DEFINITELY DEFINITELY NSFW (Not Safe For Work). There is a safe trailer for it here though.

Good work, Wood Rocket.  Keep up the hard work (sorry).

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