weddings

"My friend assumes she's my bridesmaid, but I don't even want her at my wedding."

Just when you think there are no more wedding horror stories to be heard in the world, another couple goes and gets engaged and the cycle continues.

Such is the case for one American bride-to-be, who is facing the dilemma of someone she don’t even want to invite to your wedding thinking they’re going to be a part of the bridal party.

Raising the sticky subject with Jezebel’s resident agony aunt, “Etiquette Monster” Madeleine Davies, the bride began, “My partner recently proposed and of course there has been a lot of excitement and inevitable wedding planning talk. We want to keep it small, with just family and close friends and I already have an idea of who I would like to ask to be in my bridal party.”

(Image via iStock)

The woman went on to explain that because she suffers from anxiety and has an introverted personality, her desire is to have "friends who will respect that and support me" on her big day.

"This is where my “best friend” comes in," the bride's email continued.

"She is my oldest friend and we used to call each other sisters. For a while I truly felt that about her, but looking back it’s only because I had such low self esteem I didn’t know what a good friend looked like."

Image: Something Borrowed, Warner Bros.
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According to the bride, her friend is "insecure and very competitive," and like all nightmare wedding guests, loves nothing more than to get really drunk, really loud and really flirty with all the wrong people. Her other hobbies include calling only when she's single or going through a breakup, not answering calls when the bride needed her and generally being "the fun one."

Yeah, she's that friend. We've all have had that friend and I think it's pretty fair to say they're the absolute worst.

Image: The Wedding Singer, New Line Cinema

"She’s the girl who used to mock me for being flat chested at school in the locker room. She’s the girl who said we were like twins except I was the fat one and that’s how they would tell us apart," the bride went on.

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"She has already made the assumption she’s a bridesmaid, even talking to me about dresses she’d likes for bridesmaids, etc. I just know if I say I don’t want her there, we will probably be done forever. I guess I’m scared of letting go of my oldest friend who I love and just don’t know how to handle such a sensitive issue."

Thankfully, Davies said what we're all thinking.

These are the bridesmaids she needs. Source: Universal.

"You do not have to make this woman a bridesmaid in your wedding. You do not have to invite her to your wedding. From what you’ve written, it doesn’t sound like she is worth the cost of even the most garbage of catered dinners," her hilarious response on Jezebel began.

"As I think you already know, this sounds like a friendship that needs to end, either now or later."

Offering up sage options on how to end or work on the friendship, Davies went on to acknowledge that "cutting a loved one out of your life is easier said than done, especially if you’re dealing with anxiety issues...and especially especially if you’re planning a huge, stressful event on top of that. If this task is overwhelming to you, I want you to give yourself permission to put this friend break-up/confrontation off until after your nuptials."

Davies reasoned that with a small role in the wedding and a trusted guest on behaviour watch ("their wedding gift to you can be to keep her occupied and away from the limelight"), things should be okay.

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