How to tell what someone's sexual fetish is, just by looking at them.


Everything can be a fetish. Sneezes, underwear, feet, snails, pretending to be a baby…and there is nothing wrong with it…

As long as you’re not causing harm to anyone else.

They’re common, and, if you’re curious that someone you know might have one, or just a very deep interest in touching everything made with leather..there are some tell tale signs you can look out for.

“We’re all expressing our sexuality at every part of the day. It’s everything from the clothes we wear, to the way we like our voice to sound, to how we breathe.

That’s why there [is such a huge] spectrum. We’re giving away our fetishes and what we’re into sexually, all the time, if you just open your eyes and have a look.” Madison Missina, sex therapist, sex worker and the pornstar, in our podcast, The Prude and The Pornstar, explains.

Here’s how to tell.

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Look at what they are wearing.

So, imagine you’re at the water cooler, and Simone from IT is casually walking by with a leather choker on. It’s in fashion, so you don’t question it. But there it could be revealing more about her than she might think….especially if this is a pattern. Perhaps Simone from IT is a little kinky.

Madison says that people who are into BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) will often wear things around their wrists, or collars and necks, and they might even like to wear harnesses. Similarly, the style of the clothing you wear can reveal much about you sexually.


“Women who are more sort of sexually aggressive and like to seduce men, you will see them display their sexuality in their tight figures, you know they’ll put their assets out.” Madison says.

We’re onto you Simone from IT.

Follow their eyes.

Madison says that there are also little clues that reveal people’s sexuality in where they look. So it’s all about the eyes people. Follow the eyes.

“If you pay attention to where people’s eyes go, you’ll often see. So I can pick out all the foot fetishes, because they’re the ones looking at my feet all the time. It’s interesting and fun and ubiquitous. We’re all sexual beings, and that’s okay.”


Look at their hands.

Madison has a sensation fetish – texture is what turn her on. And….as we picked up in a previous episode of the show, she like to know what things feel like.

So if Bryan from accounts constantly wants to pat your mohair jumper…he might just have a sensation fetish.

Also, many people with fetishes must have the object of their attraction at hand in order to become sexually aroused, get an erection, and have an orgasm…so if your partner needs something else in the bedroom when you’re getting busy, it could be a fetish.

Listen to what they say.

People who have fetishes might have a hard time trying to be open about them, especially if it is something degrading. So listen to hints that they might be dropping eg:


"Oh how this glad-wrap get in the bedroom?" get a text saying..."I love it when you whisper to me in made-up French."

"Have you thought about leaving the socks on, babe?"

"Can we have sex and can you wear high heels, but then leave the shoes in our room and sleep on the couch."

You get the drift...

The Prude and The Pornstar is Mamamia's podcast about sex, relationships, fetishes, and fantasies. With award winning pornstar Madison Missina, and her friend, the very prudish Christian mum of two Carla GS, it's everything you've ever wanted to know about sex but been too afraid to ask.

This week, a tired new mother has a husband with a breastfeeding fetish: should she entertain his whim? There's a magical age when your hormones and your libido collide: are you there yet or have you already peaked? And how to find out your own fetish. It's apparently very obvious...if you know what to look for. Plus... Madison's take home sex tip.

For more episodes of The Prude and The Pornstar, subscribe to the show in iTunes, or find us on your favourite podcast app (including the Mamamia Podcast App, of course!)