A porn actress has shared the texts she receives from young boys in a plea to parents.

Nikita Bellucci is fed up with teaching children about sex. In fact, the French pornography actor is so sick of receiving explicit requests from adolescent boys, that she has publicly called out parents for failing to educate their sons about sexual relationships and appropriate online behaviour.

“Stop offloading your responsibilities onto sex workers,” the 28-year-old wrote via Twitter. “There is a complete lack of teaching and prevention, and it’s not our job to educate your kids.”

Belluci shared now-deleted screenshots of what she claimed to be messages she’d received from boys. One is said to have come from a 12-year-old boy who asks several times for sexual acts.

In another, the sender asks Belluci to reply with nude images. She responded by threatening to alert his parents: “Reflect on your actions, do your homework and don’t contact me again,” she wrote, “If not I’ll send [the screenshot of your message].”

Child psychologist Jordan Foster, director of ySafe, welcomes Bellucci’s appeal.

“The fact that we have a porn performer putting the onus back on the parents, whilst a little bit upsetting, is absolutely essential,” she told Mamamia.

“The more accessible the internet becomes and the less parental control tools that are in place on children’s devices, we’re seeing children being exposed at much younger ages and therefore the effect of it being normalised. It’s terrifying.”

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Research led by Dr Megan Lim of the Burnet Institute last year found that the median age Australian adolescents had first viewed pornographic material was just 14. Of the 941 15- to 29-year-olds surveyed, nine out of 10 males and one out of three females viewed it at least monthly, and some up to 10 times a day.

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“What often happens is that it begins as accidental exposure, so they might be on a gaming website, for example, that contains ads for soft pornographic websites. And they might be curious, even though they’ve not yet been actively searching for it,” said Foster.

“Then what starts out as natural curiosity builds into being more interested, trying to understand the context, needing to understand a little bit more about that world.”

The new sex ed.

The problem, as Bellucci noted, is that online pornographic material then becomes, in many cases, a teen’s primary source of education about sexual relationships.

This occurs partly because it’s so easy to access via mobile devices, but also because parents and schools are reluctant to broach the topic.

“That’s the biggest problem with all of this,” said Foster. “It’s alarming, as far as I’m concerned, and if I were a parent I’d be wanting to address this as soon as I possibly could.”

Her alarm stems from the well established links between adolescent pornography consumption and perceptions of ‘normal’ sex and bodies.

Research suggests that exposure to pornographic material can, for example, lead to coercive sexual behaviour among men, normalise sexual violence and contribute to condoning violence against women.

Little wonder, given that a 2010 study of the 50 most popular porn films found that 88 per cent of scenes included acts of physical aggression towards women.

Porn star Madison Missina explains how we can consume porn ethically. (Post continues below.)

Accepting the inevitability that a teen will view pornographic content, the key is to minimise the harm, Foster argued. And the best way to do that, is to prepare them – early. Not to wait until they are 15 and you’ve spotted something x-rated in their browser history.

“A lot of parents express concern to me that if they have a discussion with their child about sexual relationships early, that they will influence the child to enter into sexual relationships early. Research tells us that is absolutely not true,” Foster said. “In fact, it has the opposite effect. If we talk to young people about positive sexual relationships, consent and boundaries early it decreases the likelihood they will enter into a sexual relationship. It helps them understand what their rights are, and to know that they can speak to you about it if they ever encounter an issue.

“It really is about broaching the subject early and giving kids and empowering stance, as opposed to telling them off – that’s not a helpful approach.”

But what should you say?

“Start with questions,” Foster said. “You don’t even have to enter into the sexual realm at first. Just ask them what they think a healthy relationship is. And then frame the conversation so it’s 100 per cent about their rights and self-acceptance. Help make that child feel empowered that they don’t have to do or say anything they don’t want to. Because unfortunately that’s what we’re seeing with the impact of technology – that the lines of consent become somewhat blurred.

Body acceptance is important here too. Help the child understand that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, that everyone is different and fantastic just the way that they are, and that if someone doesn’t accept that about you then that’s not a healthy relationship.”

Later down the track, once you feel your child is ready, you can broach the subject of porn, she said. And the best way to do so, is to stress that it’s a business.

READ MORE: The unsettling way porn is shaping your teenager’s attitude towards sex.

“They have to understand that there’s a production team, a crew, that the performers are professionals doing a job and the grooming and body shapes go with that. Especially if there’s violence involved, they need to know that is not a normal part of a respectful romantic relationship in the everyday world, and they shouldn’t expect to be treated like that or to inflict that upon someone else.

“It’s really about helping them to understand that it’s like a cinema movie, not a real relationship. That takes away the internalisation that happens among teenagers that leads them to think it’s normal.”

Yes, these conversations are going to be uncomfortable. But Foster says it’s worth asking yourself, as a parent, would you rather your child learns about sex and relationships from you (where you can control the conversation, make it positive and helpful) or from adult websites?

“Understanding that teenagers will see pornography is important, and conversations are important,” she said. “But empowering them with the right information before that happens is the best-case scenario.”

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