Hello. Welcome, to what is possibly the most first world problem conversation you’re sure to encounter this year. My name is Valentina and those who know me are also acutely aware that: I’m socially awkward, don’t enjoy big groups of people and am forever looking for reasons and ways not to interact with people outside of my workplace and close group of friends.
I’m the sort of person who says “you too” when a barista tells me to enjoy my coffee. Who only travels in a pair because the thought of having to make meaningful conversation on my own terrifies me. The one who feigns small talk and uncomfortable office kitchen side smiles. You might also call me a millennial.
If there was a test that measured your level of social awkwardness against your likelihood of ghosting, I would pass with flying colours.
For a while, there was a rumour going around the Mamamia office that I was, in reality, a ghost and only apparated (for those in with Harry Potter speak) within its walls and couldn’t actually make myself appear anywhere else. Fun fact. For this reason, you could quite rightly assume that I am a ghoster of the highest standing and often participated in this heinous behaviour before I got into a long-term relationship.
For those of you who haven't been introduced to the fun world of 21st century dating, here's a quick rundown of what ghosting someone actually means. You're talking to someone online, you're getting along like a house on fire. You go out on a date and it's OK. Not good, not bad, just OK. You text the person that you had a nice time and you might like to catch up again. Then... radio silence. You, my dear friend, have just been ghosted. Or maybe you've been the person doing the ghosting.
You see, when it comes to dating, there are many reasons why people ghost. For me, the biggest has been that I don't like to let people down and I also avoid confrontation like the plague. I dislike both equally as much and when it comes to letting someone down who you've decided isn't quite right for you, it can be far simpler to tap your thumb on a screen and disappear than face having 'that conversation' and telling someone exactly why you're...just not that into them.
In the digital age, it's never been easier to ghost. But as you get on, when you chat to friends and family members who are on the dating scene, you begin to realise the act of ghosting or having someone ghost on you is just really crappy and unfair.