By the time I’m 65, I sincerely hope I am:
- A sudoku extraordinaire,
- A smug grandma,
- The owner of 10 absurdly fluffy robes, and finally,
- Rolling around in a gold-plated house bursting with fat stacks of cash.
I would just really like to not think twice about ordering Singapore noodles from Uber Eats every Friday night, you know? I’d like to walk into a Zimmermann store and announce “I’LL TAKE IT ALL”, and bundle a heap of those chiffon-y, flowery dresses into my arms and march my way to the register. I want to drive a car that doesn’t have two of its hubcaps missing like my sh*tty Holden Barina does right now.
I WANT TO BE RICH, DAMMIT. I WANT TO BE FILTHY RICH.
(Granted, journalism might have been quite the misstep when I chose my career – I hear investment banking earns a few more dubloons – but still.)
Stick with me please and don’t get lost because I swear this inane diatribe is going somewhere.
It turns out Business Insider, bless their cotton socks, determined precisely how much I need to save in order to become a millionaire by 65. And, well, it all seems pretty breezy – so long as you abide by the Golden Law of Saving Sweet Cashola.
That Golden Law is called “investing”, you guys. You need to invest.
WATCH: Men and women negotiating their salaries. (Post continues…)
Content warning: You’re about to read a wee bit of financial jargon.
“Becoming rich is nothing more than a matter of committing and sticking to a systematic savings and investment plan,” financial adviser dude David Bach writes in “Smart Couples Finish Rich“, a book about… well… I’m sure you can guess what it’s about.
If that all sounded like ‘Blah blah blah systematic savings blah!’ to you, let me break it down.
Basically, it means start putting your money to work people. Invest those pennies. As money wizard Bach says: “You don’t need to have money to make money.”