Men are as fragile around being accepted and lovable as women are, but most of them hold and display it differently. It’s important to remember that his ego, his heart, and his soul are as tender as anyone else’s.
When you nag him, you are indirectly telling him he is not enough, he needs to be more. I know you can argue this point with me and say “but he doesn’t listen.” However take a moment and think about it, the last time someone nagged you did it bring love and awareness or resentment and disconnection?
An alternative would be for you to review why you need him to do this, what it represents to you and then ASK him to do it, explaining the why and what it represents to you. Then let him choose. If he chooses to acknowledge and act on it great, and if he doesn’t you need to review your priorities; can you live with it or is it bigger than your relationship?
When you fight and you drive home your point again and again and he still isn’t getting it, you are no longer communicating. Its likely you have moved to berating him.
How do you feel when someone repeats their point again and again in an argument and doesn’t hear or see you? It’s likely you dis-connect. If you see a fight as an opportunity to win, then you drive him away from you. Every single time. When you fight, it is not an opportunity to bring up every issue you have ever had with him and it is not an opportunity to take him down or emasculate him.