For those who have delved into the world of pegging, it’s hard to turn back. After all, aside from being extremely pleasurable and orgasmic, it can be an easy way to “reverse” the standard power roles in a relationship and get to know each other on a more intimate level. He’ll get more experience on the receiving end of pleasure while she’ll get more experience on the “providing” end of pleasure.
And, of course, it feels fantastic for both partners. Now, if you do try pegging, I want your experience to go as swimmingly as possible. But some things happen that might keep you both from enjoying pegging as thoroughly as you’d like.
With that in mind, here are some common barriers that keep couples from enjoying pegging – and how to fix them. All of these are written from the point of view of a the female who will be pegging a male, but suggestions could apply to couples of all sexes.
We’re scared about the mess
Yeah, shit happens. You’re messing around in a part of the body that is regularly used for waste. Similar to the vagina (and the blood that happens), this is just a regular, biological function that this area is used for.
However, it’s still something that freaks a lot of people out to the point that they may avoid anal sex or pegging entirely because of this fear. Well, that’s no good! Aside from accepting that it’s going to happen on occasion (and it’s going to happen at some point if you engage in enough pegging sessions), it helps to do a few things.
First, make sure the receptive partner is eating a good diet – and having solid bowel movements. The time to play with pegging isn’t after he’s been sick with a stomach flu. Having your partner eat a full, fibre-rich diet and choosing to only play after he’s had a movement within the last four-six hours can really help.
Second, some people really enjoy using enemas to clean out the area before play. After an enema or two, the interior of the body will be near-spotless, and you’re much less-likely to run into anything that might offend the two of you.
Listen: Some more tips for spicing up your sex life, from our Love Life podcast. (Post continues.)
Pegging hurts him
This is a big one for many couples, and it’s usually caused by a couple different things.
First, he could be nervous. Like any other muscle around the body, the butt tends to tighten up when the person is nervous. This can make penetration of any sort much more difficult. The solution here is to ensure he’s relaxed, engage in lots of foreplay, and start extremely small – maybe even with just a finger – to show him that things can feel pleasurable. He’ll start to relax from there.
Second, it could be your dildo size that’s the problem. One of the big benefits of using a strap-on is that YOU get to choose your own size. Want to be gigantic? Done. Want to be slim with a p-spot curve? You got it. You can strap-on and change your “dick” every time you play. With that being said, even on a day-to-day basis, what a person will be able to comfortably “take” may change. If your partner is experiencing pain, consider going down to a smaller dildo.