Q: What are the most important things to frequently communicate in a marriage?
My husband and I just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Strangely enough, both of us forgot the actual day which might have passed unnoticed had I not been in a room with a person who asked what the date was. I called him immediately to tell him about this, and we both had a good laugh.
What does this say, if anything, about the state of communication in our marriage? It says to me that dates don’t count, actual days aren’t important, saying “Happy Anniversary” in the afternoon rather than the morning is just fine, because we tell each other every day, most of the time without words, how much love, trust and respect exists between us.
I did mention to him that we couldn’t forget our 50th, and in our defence, we’d gone away that weekend to celebrate the event. The actual day was the Monday after the weekend. Enough with the celebrating already.
My husband is having his knee replaced tomorrow morning. We’re both concerned about the operation, the success of it, and how the recovery will go.
What does this have to do with the question?
It’s simple, really. He’s worried and a little scared. We’ve been lucky. We’ve been relatively healthy with only the normal aches and pains that come with growing older. He asked me to be there for him, and I’ve spent the whole last week showing, telling and demonstrating, both in words and deeds, how much I love him, how I’ll always be there for him, and that he’s safe with me, because, to paraphrase Louann Touhey In The Blindside, “You hurt my husband, you hurt me.”
Ellen Vrana Is a wonderful writer. I tell her this all the time, so it won’t be a surprise when she hears it again.
After all this time with this man, I do tell him how much I love him, but I know his lips, I still crave his touch, and there isn’t anywhere, behind the ears, in front of the ears, in the ears, where I haven’t touched him.