I’ll let you in on a secret, knowing stuff – for real – is hard. It usually takes years of dedication. Not to mention, lots and lots of reading. Still want to know stuff?
In truth, knowing stuff isn’t as great as it sounds. Knowing stuff can lead to depression. It can make it difficult to think well of your fellow man. It can give you foresight, too, which has been proven to greatly reduce a person’s chance of making friends, falling in love and reproducing.
In spite of these rather distressing side-effects knowing stuff still carries weight in certain circles. Yes, some people still seem to admire those who know stuff. Strange but true. We shouldn’t laugh. Remember, not long ago there were institutions devoted to helping people know stuff. Thankfully, the Internet has made such institutions obsolete. Even so, old habits are hard to break. So while schools and universities suffer their slow painful deaths, to gain the respect of our peers, we still need to know stuff.
What you may not have heard is this – knowing stuff now comes in two distinct types. Actually knowing stuff, which is a real pain in the arse. And looking like you know stuff, which is a doddle.
Take it from me, once you actually know stuff, you quickly discover that most people get on quite well just looking like they know stuff. In fact, there are more people who look like they know stuff in high places than those who do actually know stuff.
What do we learn from this? We only need to look like we know stuff to ensure we have a happy and successful life.
Brothers and sisters, though it is too late for me, having squandered my chance of happiness in the foolhardy pursuit of knowledge, it is not too late for you. Allow me to offer you the gift of a happy life with my patented six step course…
The Booktopia Book Guru’s ‘How to Look Like You Know Stuff (in Six Easy Steps)’.
Step One – Literature:
You don’t want to spend any more time reading than you have to. You have things to do. Important things. (Like checking your status on facebook.) But to present a thin veneer of learning you must read something. Something well respected. Here’s a tip…
Read only The Slim Books of Literature
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Death in Venice by Thomas Mann
The Outside by Albert Camus
The Immoralist by Andre Gide
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
etc… etc… there are hundreds of little greats! (Penguin has made it even less taxing – click here for the Mini Modern Classics).
Or, read Plays – they’re easier to knock over…