I’ve been married for eight years, and with my partner for 17 years. We have three girls aged six, four and two. We’re both healthy and our sex life is pretty good considering what my vagina has been through and the lack of time to ourselves.
There is one thing however that I don’t find fair, though. Why does he get to orgasm and finish, but if I orgasm, I have to keep going?
What if I was allowed to jump on, orgasm, and then finish? Would it make me want to have more sex?
Because let’s be honest, he has been doing it for 17 years.
Now, I’ve heard of these mystical men who can orgasm and sustain an erection. My husband is not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is fantastic but one in four times I’m left feeling hot and bothered without climaxing as he has “come” early.
Let’s be clear – this has NEVER happened to him. There are times when I orgasm early, and what do we do? We keep going of course. My husband would suggest that physically, as a woman, I actually can keep going. I’d like to argue that this is not always true – that those beautiful hormones released during orgasm would much rather have me turn over and sleep immediately. It takes a hell of a lot of effort to continue to perform so that he can orgasm. But it’s never been spoken about.
So, I’ve made a proposal to my husband.
How about I finish after I orgasm, like him?
Porn star Madison Missina’s advice to couples in a rut and who fall into an orgasm routine. Post continues after audio.
I can see multiple benefits in this.
Firstly, it would make me want to have more sex. I’ll be making more of the moves when I’m keen, without the expectation of a romping session that could be interrupted by kids if it goes too long.
Secondly, he would pick up on my cues more. Let’s face it, orgasming together is the ultimate success in a shag. I believe if my husband knows that I’m done once I’ve orgasmed, he will perform accordingly.
My husband’s initial response to the concept was one of shock. You could see his brain processing the idea of having sex without the happy ending. I watched as he contemplated the fairness of having only one party completely satisfied while the other is left to sort themselves out. I had to smile as he faced me and could not argue the fact of fairness, realising that he had been doing this exact thing to me for over 17 years.
I then saw his excitement, yes, exactly the type you are thinking, at the realisation that this would mean we would be having more sex.