Because who doesn’t want that?
When was the last time you had sex so good, you didn’t stop grinning at each other for days?
OK, how about reasonably good sex that left you with a rather smug post-coital glow?
Hmm. Then how many of you fantasise more about sleeping in your bed than bouncing around on it?
Stressful jobs, fractious relationships, parenting, that monotonous commute – all combine to rob us of desire.
If sex is just another chore rather than something you look forward to, chances are one or more of the following is to blame.
Pinpoint the problem, then keep reading for some practical solutions.
Reasons why you’re not frothing at the mouth:
It’s either physical…
A bad lover: zero technique eventually leads to zero desire.
Exhaustion and stress.
Poor general health or chronic illness.
Excessive alcohol or drug abuse.
A reaction to medication/recreational drugs.
Low hormone levels.
Menopause, periods and pregnancy all alter our levels of desire.
Pelvic surgery (like hysterectomy) which has deadened nerve endings in the genital region.
No chemistry with partner.
Relationships problems: feeling frustrated, angry or resentful toward partner or guilty, sad or ashamed over something you’ve done to them.
Low self-esteem or low sexual self-esteem.
A bad body image.
Poor sex education.
A traumatic, earlier sexual experience.
A history of unsatisfactory sex.
A strict religious upbringing which taught us sex is ‘bad’ and other negative sexual attitudes.
Communication problems which stop us telling our partner what triggers we need to tip us over the orgasm edge.
Lack of trust.
Tension – unresolved relationship conflicts resulting it one or both of you withholding sex as a punishment.
How to get back in the mood:
Get a good night’s sleep. Disturbed sleep leads to a reduction in the male hormone testosterone, which boosts both your libidos.
Take responsibility for your libido. Don’t expect your partner to turn you on, do it yourself! Make it your mission to pinpoint what gets you in the mood for sex then do more of it.
Let your imagination loose. Don’t be ashamed of your fantasies and refuse to feel guilty if having sex with someone other than your partner is one of them. Being unfaithful in reality isn’t on but it’s okay to do it in your head. Really. One survey found around 75% of us do it to keep sex fresh.