It’s all about the cookie…
Holding on to the seat, I wheel my newly purchased road bike out of the garage and onto my gravel driveway. I was excited about my first ride, also a bit nervous as I had zero experience with clipless pedals, but there I was, ready to go.
What happened next was like a bad, slow motion dream.
I clip my shoes and try to pedal. I instantly realize I’m in big trouble. My gear is too big, and I can’t get the bike to go. By the time my brain begins screaming “abort, abort” to unclip and put my leg out, it’s too late. I go down.
My first ride is from a dead stop to flat on my side, in the gravel, in my driveway.
Take that Lance Armstrong.
Here’s the best part: My wife, who had just filed for divorce, happened to be driving by at that very moment. I can still see my four-year-old son Kyle sitting in his car seat, waving from the back window and saying, “Hi daddy?” — with this confused look on his face.
I just laid there for several minutes thinking about my life and what went wrong, what happened to me, what happened to my marriage?
At that moment I decided it was time to change. Time to understand myself and the specific things I would need to change to become the type of person that could create and maintain solid relationships. Laying on a gravel driveway still clipped to your bike as your family uncomfortably drives by will do that sort of thing to you.
I unclipped my shoes, dusted myself off and have spent the last 18 years working on becoming better. I don’t have it figured out, but I am on the right path, and even though I take a few steps back from time to time, I know I’m heading in the right direction.
This year marks 18 years with my best friend and wife Megan. Just like everyone else, we have been through a lot together — mostly good, some bad. I can easily say I’m as happy today as I was on our wedding day.
The biggest key has been making our marriage a priority. It’s the most important thing we have in our lives, and we do our best to act that way.
Here are a few things I’ve learned along this journey, some the hard way. I hope you find it useful.
1. Don’t eat the last cookie
This is more about mindset and less about loving dessert. When Megan and I have treats or snacks, whether it be cheese, crackers, cookies or ice cream, I will by default leave the last piece for her to enjoy. It has become part of who I am, and fortunately she is the same way.