Anyone who’s ever spent a long haul flight trapped in economy between a hysterical baby and a professional arm-rest hog, praying for an upgrade, knows those things are hard to come by.
Hollywood would have you believe all it takes is a tap on the shoulder.
A wink and a nudge from a flight attendant and you’ll be shuffling down the aisle to a glass of sparkling and a life time’s supply of leg room, right? WRONG.
For some reason it never seems to work out that way but, according to Cheapflights.com.au, it can.
They’ve shared their tips for getting closer to the cockpit and we’ve narrowed them down to a handy top three.
Number one: Ditch your kids.
Moving a whole family is hard. Rich people don’t love noisy children, that’s just a fact*. And you’re better off travelling solo anyhow, because nothing ruins a holiday like bickering with your partner and children. Hit the runway on your own and you’ll be much more likely to secure that spare seat up front.
*We were unable to confirm this fact.
Number two: Celebrate a milestone.
Couldn't ditch that pesky love of your life? Well pretend it's your anniversary, fake a birthday, whatever, just make sure you tell the airline staff about it. Odds are they've heard it a million times before so why not go the whole hog and manufacture a false wedding certificate or bake a cake? (Post continues after gallery.)
Number three: Fake it 'til you make it.
The best way to fly under a rich person's radar is to disguise yourself as one. Change your name to Gina Rinehart and tip in coal, pretend your running from the paparazzi or wear a tiara.
But in all seriousness, if you act like you deserve to be there, the next thing you know you'll be marked Suitable For Upgrade. And that's the dream.
Check out some more memorable plane trips in our gallery below: