For a minute there, I thought I was Oprah.
It happens with every life stage. Anyone who has experienced something you haven’t becomes an expert.
And the other day, I realised I had written “relationship expert” on my friendship job description. Even though I promised I would never do it.
Pre-relationship/marriage me was constantly grilled on my dating (or lack there of). What are you doing to meet a man? Ahh… going out with my female friends? This was not the right answer. I got a list of all the ways I should expose myself to meeting a suitable man. My favourite was to join a co-ed soccer team. I don’t even like soccer.
Okay, fine, now when a man talks to you, what do you say? Ahhh…”hello”?
You get the picture. For many, many, many years I was schooled on finding a relationship. Let’s just say I am thankful my now-husband proposed after dating for 12 months because then I was at least saved from how to “tie him down and get him to commit” lectures.
But now, as a married lady, I find myself doing the same thing.
But not only to my single friends.
Also to my in-a-relationship friends.
To my single friends:
Sorry for telling you that you need to get out more to meet a man.
Sorry for telling you that all-female netball on Saturday mornings has no potential.
Sorry for telling you that RSVP, Tinder, every other dating app is a great way to meet men (when I know full well that I would really struggle with ever put myself on any of those apps if I was single).
Sorry for encouraging you to give the guy who said the creepy thing another go.
Sorry for telling you that the guy who hasn't called you for 3 days needs to be ditched.
Sorry for telling you that I met your future husband and have invited him to my barbecue next week for you to meet him too.
Sorry for telling all our other friends about your future husband (I know that meeting was made all the more awkward).
Sorry for forgetting to find out that he has a girlfriend.
To my in-a-relationship friends:
Sorry for telling you the woes of first moving in together with someone and not letting you just have your own experience.
Sorry for asking you if you have talked about getting married.
Sorry about telling you that it was really, really, really important for you to know that you and him are on the same page future-wise.
Sorry for freaking you out.
Yes, I know my friends do come to me for advice (sometimes). But I also realise that just because I have a "ring on it", doesn't mean that I am a qualified relationship expert.
And even if I am a little more wiser (I'm not), my experience is unique. Everyone is different. I remember constantly being told that I would never meet a man by going to clubs. Future husbands just don't go to clubs.
I meet my husband in seediest nightclub in Sydney.
So to anyone who I have given relationship advice to...please ignore it...and forgive me.
What advice have you dished out to your unmarried/single friends?
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