It’s ominous in post-divorce dating land; there are too many online dating sites to count, and apparently, if you do venture out, there are profile writing coaches to assist your efforts because in this saturated market, you’ll be lucky to get a swipe right.
Since my divorce was just finalised, I’m in no hurry, and although my friends smile and nod when I say I won’t do online dating, I don’t see what other options there are for a stay-at-home mum and writer who hasn’t been on a date since 1997. Yes, you read that right.
Five things to know about dating over 40. Post continues after video.
There was no Tinder, no OKCupid, or Match.com, and we didn’t even text. Mobile phones weighed two kilograms.
Everywhere you look now, there are online sites with ratings and swipe options and photos of men holding giant fish and women in bikinis and profiles. What happened to meeting at a company meeting, smiling across the room and eventually going out for coffee? It’s a different world.
Yet, in this different world, I have wisdom, experience, and anecdotal evidence from my first marriage that will guide me to either a happy second union, or an equally happy single life. First marriages are, in fact, remarkable wake-up calls and learning experiences.
Yes, it’s painful to live through years of an unhappy marriage. It’s also how many of us learn who we are, what we need, and how we relate to others. So you, and I, can use what we can to learn about ourselves and our needs, patterns, issues, and values, and allow that knowledge to guide us as we move into our next chapter. And that gives me hope.
Mamamia’s separation podcast, The Split, will hold your hand as you jump back into the dating pool.
First, there are new rules.
In a new relationship, after a difficult marriage, you (and your new partner) rewrite the rules. If you were passive or pushed around in your first marriage, you can start from the beginning in a new more collaborative and assertive role.