It’s the weekend before a midweek public holiday and the temptation to chuck a sickie on Monday is strong.
I recommend it. But only if you spend Tuesday morning paying your respects at one of the many Dawn Services held around the nation.
If you’re keen to make this weekend a long one, follow the tips below for a bulletproof excuse.
1. Plant The Seed.
The key to a good sickie is to plant the idea you’re ill before you call in.
It may be too late to cough your way through Friday but that doesn’t mean you can’t fill your weekend social media feed with a ton of “stuck in bed” selfies.
2. Perfect Your Sick Voice.
If you’re calling in sick on Monday, you might want to make sure your voice matches your excuse. There are a concerning amount of guides online that instruct readers on how they can ‘fake’ a sick voice.
The top tip is to purposely lose your voice by continuously screaming into your pillow. Honestly, if you’re that desperate to not go to work that you’ll scream into your pillow, you deserve that day off.
Other sites suggest gargling a concoction of vinegar and lemon juice to irritate your vocal cords. Good luck with that one.
3. Keep It Vague.
It’s important to keep an air of mystery around your sickness. Could it be a cold? A 24-hour bug? An unusual strain of some new virus? WHO. CAN. TELL?
Keep your symptoms to things like: sore throat, coughing and headaches. If you’re describing shooting chest pains, you’ve gone too far. Backtrack, my friend, backtrack.
The video playing above shares some other helpful tips and tricks for sneaky sickie success.
Do you have a great ‘chucked a sickie’ story? Share it below.
Want to make good use of all that free time? Listen to the latest episode of our Mamamia Out Loud podcast.
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