When it comes to cancelling plans there are rules that no one told me until approximately one week ago.
I broached the subject of how to best cancel plans among friends, and one barked at me before I’d finished my sentence, “Don’t cancel after whatever you’re meant to be going to has already started.”
Well. That sounds valid.
Another insisted you should call, don’t text, which feels unnecessarily intense.
One made the point that you should never cancel (or… tell someone you’ve cancelled) because something better came up. If you’re meant to be going to their birthday drinks, don’t tell them last minute you got an invitation to a party that you couldn’t say no to.
Others added not to overtly lie, because they will find out, and you should never cancel on someone more than once in a row.
More than one friend had experienced a significant falling out with someone, with one losing a friendship for good, over poorly cancelled plans.
There is clearly much at stake, which is why definitive rules are so important.
But the most surprising transgression was one I’d been guilty of more times than I can count.
Do not begin your ‘I’m so sorry I can’t make it’ message with the words, “I’m actually the worst.”
LISTEN: Here’s exactly how to cancel plans without looking like a jerk. Post continues below.