In a cruel twist of fate, just as my contract with Harper Collins to write my latest book on dating and relationships was finalised, so too was I finalising the end of what had been an incredibly important partnership with a man I had deeply loved.
Although I had to end this relationship, this doesn’t mean the decision had been easy. In fact, making the decision that a relationship isn’t working anymore can be almost as heartbreaking as when someone breaks up with you. The sense of lost opportunities and dreams can leave you just as raw.
Me? I spent that first week after I broke up with this man in tears. I was quite committed to this! I cried with gusto and pride! I became an Olympic crier! The advice I was tempted to give to young girls during this stage? “Run! Guard your hearts!”
But instead, I literally began at the end and started my book by researching and exploring how to deal with heartbreak. Physician heal thyself.
Since then, I have dated a few men and have had to make the choice to end some of these relationships too.
So what have I now learnt about being the bearer of bad news?
1. If you feel like crying – let the tears flow. Tears may feel pointless, but a dear friend Ella, who is a nurse, wrote to me after my cry-fest to say what I was doing was actually vital work: “In nursing, we use normal saline for almost everything. Normal saline is the artificially made version of tears.