And I’m stopping. As of now.
I didn’t have an ideal childhood. My childhood was sometimes the thing of nightmares. My parents were stressed, money was tight, my siblings and I fought often and I felt incredibly alone.
But, I am who I am today, in part, because of my childhood. And my family and I are incredibly close today.
So… could it be that being a bad parent is actually good for your kids?
I've been accused (on more than one occassion) that I'm a helicopter parent. That I am too protective and that I am ruining my kids.
Normally, I ignore feedback like this. I am doing what I feel is right when it comes to parenting my children. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
Then, it happened. I was sitting down with 3 work colleagues I really respect and they were all yelling at me.
"You're making them scared."
"They'll pick up on your fear."
"You can't DO that."
I was pretty shocked and just shrugged, explaining, "It's how I feel." But it upset me. It upset me a lot, because I knew they were right.
For the past 10 years, I've been raising my kids completely opposite to how I was raised. I've been a 'good parent'. I know where my children are at all times, I know how they are feeling at all times, I address all their problems and concerns as soon as I can, I have a lot of meetings at school...
I bombard anyone caring for my children with text messages asking how they are, I worry each night about all the things I did 'wrong' and how I'll do better the next day...and you know what?
It's all crap. I've been doing it all wrong. Everyone has been right all this time. The things I do 'wrong', the so-called 'bad parenting' I have been avoiding are the things that will teach my children the most about life.