weddings

The bride asked her to organise a hen's weekend. Problem is the guests don't want to pay.

When it comes to planning special events, there really are no hard and fast rules. But when it comes to how much should you spend on a hen’s party, the internet seems to have some fairly clear ideas.

Kicking off the discussion via Mumsnet a UK user called ComingUpTrumps asked for advice on a hen’s weekend she’s currently organising for a friend.

how much should you spend on a hen's party
Is the bride's requests unreasonable or do the friends need to come to the party? Source: iStock.

"Our itinerary is the following," she writes before posting the following list:

Friday evening:
Train to Oxford
Taxi transfers from Oxford station to accommodation.
Pizza at accommodation.

Saturday:
Breakfast (included in accommodation price for Saturday and Sunday).
Dance lesson.
Lunch (£25 per person, as we booked from a set menu).
Punting
Taxi transfer from punting place to accommodation, so we can get ready for evening.
Taxi transfer from accommodation to Oxford city centre for evening.
Dinner in Oxford (booked from £25 set menu of 3 courses)
Bar in Oxford
Taxi transfer from Oxford to accommodation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sunday: breakfast at accommodation, and then train home.

The problem, ComingUpTrumps says, is that after dedicating hours of research and planning to the weekend, she's now failing to get attendees to pay up.

"I've sent out emails to the other attendees (not including the bride) requesting part of the payment," she says. "I sent them an initial email with a payment request on Friday afternoon. A few got back to me saying they'd pay me on the weekend, but I haven't yet received payment from them. I sent out another follow-up payment request email this morning... In total, I've only been paid by one person."

Listen: Being a bridesmaid. Is it the best or worst job going around? Post continues... 

All up, ComingUpTrumps says the weekend is set to cost AU $490 per person, something she says is unavoidable as the bride has said she wants a weekend away.

Cue forum division.

"I wouldn't be able to afford anything like this amount for a hen weekend but would probably just let you get on with it and meet bride for lunch at later date," one user commented.

Another agreed, replying, "I wouldn't pay that much, sorry, I just wouldn't."

how much should you spend on a hen's party
What would you do? Source: iStock.

"I would email all attendees requesting payment within 24 hours to confirm they're coming. If they don't pay, they don't come," one user suggested. "As the organiser you say "This is what's happening" then they either join in or don't, their loss. If you ask it becomes a discussion which gets messy."

Another agreed but noted the cost of the weekend away was relatively steep.

"Blimey, rather you than me," she began. "As for the cost, that depends on the financial circumstances of your group, the best part of £300 is nothing to some people but a lot to others. If you think this is an amount your friends can easily cover then send an email telling them how much it will be and if they are still up for it, when the total will need to be paid by. Don't leave it all open to discussion or it will go on forever."

How much would you be willing to spend on a hen's weekend? 

FROM OUR NETWORK
00:00 / ???