How much is too much to spend on eye cream?

I know the answer to this question because I just spent it. I can't quite bring myself to tell you what I bought or how much I paid for it. Suffice to say it is the most I have ever paid for a beauty product and, since I was once a beauty editor and got year's worth of products for free, may possibly have been more than I would have spent over several years. IN ONE HIT.


Maybe because I no longer walk among fashionable people every day so have stopped spending money on clothes. Maybe because I'm getting older and I have to take better care of my skin. Maybe because since I started thinking about  "face vs ass", I realised I should probably invest a bit more into my face. Preventatively.

So anyway. I go to the counter, pick the product I want and hand over my credit card. Sign the slip with a shaky hand and remind myself 'at least you're not a crack head, that would be more expensive and also totally bad for your skin – lose-lose.

The scary lady behind counter (there were 2 actually – both of a certain age, one
with awful fake fingernails and the other with scary brows that looked
like rectangles) – anyway, one of them came over and said “Do you know
how to apply it?” and when I looked vague (um, duh, with my FINGER?), she launched into long
complex explanation and then said “You must come to our seminar on January 7 where
we have a whole night with videos on how to apply the products” and I
said “Um, no?” and she looked at me and said ‘Why not? and when I temporarily lost the power of speech and looked at her open-mouthed, she said
‘well, you must come on March 1st then, we’re having another one.”

Oh sure. Let me just diarise an evening NEXT YEAR to come and learn how to put cream under my eye. That would be neat.

I ran away with my cream that could send the economy into deficit but was so flustered by whole Expensive Eye Cream Experience
that I lost my car in the parking station. Damn you Westfield. Again.

Took me 50 minutes to find it.
Thought may have to live in car park for a few days and would be forced
to eat eye cream. It would want to double as sustenance for that price.

Overall result: poor and traumatised.

As soon as I got home, I emailed my beauty editor friend: "Do I need to
go to a seminar to learn how to apply my Embarassingly Expensive eye cream? Unless I have
to apply it with my tongue or, say, my big toe, I’m thinking I can
probably manage, yes?"

She replied immediately and for free: "How to apply it: Use the
silver ball on the stock – it's called an orb – and massage it in, sweeping back and forth along
orbital bone. Easy. The orb helps with puffiness and dark
circles. Feels lovely and cooling. No seminar required."

Super. Now I just need to find out what my orbital bone is……

00:00 / ???