beauty

How much is too much to spend on eye cream?


Maybe because I no longer walk among fashionable people every day so have stopped spending money on clothes. Maybe because I'm getting older and I have to take better care of my skin. Maybe because since I started thinking about  "face vs ass", I realised I should probably invest a bit more into my face. Preventatively.

So anyway. I go to the counter, pick the product I want and hand over my credit card. Sign the slip with a shaky hand and remind myself 'at least you're not a crack head, that would be more expensive and also totally bad for your skin – lose-lose.

The scary lady behind counter (there were 2 actually – both of a certain age, one
with awful fake fingernails and the other with scary brows that looked
like rectangles) – anyway, one of them came over and said “Do you know
how to apply it?” and when I looked vague (um, duh, with my FINGER?), she launched into long
complex explanation and then said “You must come to our seminar on January 7 where
we have a whole night with videos on how to apply the products” and I
said “Um, no?” and she looked at me and said ‘Why not? and when I temporarily lost the power of speech and looked at her open-mouthed, she said
‘well, you must come on March 1st then, we’re having another one.”

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Oh sure. Let me just diarise an evening NEXT YEAR to come and learn how to put cream under my eye. That would be neat.

I ran away with my cream that could send the economy into deficit but was so flustered by whole Expensive Eye Cream Experience
that I lost my car in the parking station. Damn you Westfield. Again.

Took me 50 minutes to find it.
Thought may have to live in car park for a few days and would be forced
to eat eye cream. It would want to double as sustenance for that price.

Overall result: poor and traumatised.

As soon as I got home, I emailed my beauty editor friend: "Do I need to
go to a seminar to learn how to apply my Embarassingly Expensive eye cream? Unless I have
to apply it with my tongue or, say, my big toe, I’m thinking I can
probably manage, yes?"

She replied immediately and for free: "How to apply it: Use the
silver ball on the stock – it's called an orb – and massage it in, sweeping back and forth along
orbital bone. Easy. The orb helps with puffiness and dark
circles. Feels lovely and cooling. No seminar required."

Super. Now I just need to find out what my orbital bone is……

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