By HOLLY WAINWRIGHT
There’s a reason that we don’t tell people that we’re pregnant until that momentous 12-week scan.
Many of us will lose our baby before we reach that milestone. 80 per cent of miscarriages happen in the first trimester. And one in four pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
But that is exactly why, many argue, we should let go of the 12 weeks of silence tradition. That it’s old-fashioned, unhelpful, and shrouds miscarriage in secrecy.
There are more voices calling for us to tell the world we’re pregnant as soon as we find out. Because we need support, and we need to talk about miscarriage. The argument goes that it is much better to suffer through the loss of a child, if you must, with people around you knowing what you are going through. And it’s about time we stopped whispering about the grief of miscarriage in shadowy secrecy, and pulled it out into the light to be openly discussed.
Also, keeping a secret has never been harder. Or less respected. We exist in a culture of sharing everything with everyone, we do not like to hold things in.
And pregnancy is a hard secret to keep. You’re turning down drinks, you’re green around the gills. If you’re unlucky, you’re throwing up and facing each day feeling like you’ve got the worst hangover of your life. But keep smiling, because everything is normal, people.
Keeping up this pretence is a luxury not afforded to the Duchess Of Cambridge. When the world’s lenses are trained on your every move, any cancelled appearance, any doctor’s home visit let the kitten out of the bag, meaning that – just like last time – a very sick, pregnant Kate has had to tell the world her news at eight weeks.