dating

'I got an STI': 13 women on the moment they knew their partner was cheating on them.

There's nothing quite like the pain of being cheated on – and sadly, many of us have experienced it.

Sexual Health Australia reports that infidelity is very common with an estimate of affairs occurring in 70 per cent of relationships.

At least you can find comfort in the fact you're not alone.  

Watch: The science of cheating. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

We asked our wider Mamamia community to share the moments they knew their partner was cheating on them. 

Here's what 13 women told us.

Jamie*

"My ex-wife asked to take a six-month break from our relationship so she could sort out what she wanted out of life. I asked her if there was anyone else. She assured me that there wasn't. I granted her wish and moved out of our house to stay with a friend. A few days later, I discovered that the man she claimed didn't exist was now spending nights with her. He moved in shortly thereafter."

Olivia

"I had an inkling something wasn’t right so I did the thing you’re not supposed to... and checked his phone. Found multiple pics from multiple girls on there, plus messages from 'friends' of a very – no explicitly flirty nature. Oh... and he was signed up to Ashley Madison. Did me a big favour, to be honest."

Issy

"I was in a relationship with someone for four years. I knew after the one time I asked him if he had ever cheated on me and his hands got instantly clammy. This was around the two-year mark of our relationship. He came clean to me not too long after that."

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Tina

"Gut feeling. Friends with no names at the fire station across from work. Lunch daily with them. Confronted, denied it. Asked to have lunch with her and she would be busy. But would check her location and there she was. A few months later, I checked her phone, [I] was on a playdate with a future foster to adopt — I found evidence of cheating and a few were basically immediately after the birth of our first child. I was in shock, and couldn’t stop shaking. I had to keep my cool for an hour until the playdate ended. Then I lost it."

Meghan

"My best friend called me. She was out at a party and watching him kiss another girl. She didn't realise she had called and was saying, 'He's kissing someone... Omg what should I do?'"

Sharon

"Found their text messages. She was saved under 'Optus'. As if a phone service provider would send you their breasts."

Annabella

"My dad cheated on my mother with his cousin-in-law (so, his blood cousin's wife). She was my mum's best friend as well and she also had children with her husband, who was my uncle and one of my favourite people ever. My childhood memories are filled with that entire family. My mum found out after following him. He was being strange, so she called the neighbours to watch us and was on his tail. My dad's cousin-in-law jumped out of her vehicle and they started making out on the side of the road. The months following were so rough. Those two ruined both of their families."

Diana

"She stopped returning my text messages. It was 2am. She forgot I had her location (we weren't possessive, we'd just shared it for years at that point and sometimes it came in handy). I realised she was at her ex-girlfriend's house – she came clean the next morning and we broke up."

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Charlie

"Their behaviour was off, not normal. Fights over minutiae and anger way beyond the scope of what may have triggered it. Then they were not coming home, drunk calling me. They had not been drunk for two decades. I realised they had returned to activities of their past when they were single. Then when I asked, there was no denial. A non-answer is an answer."

Reena

"I found my mother's texts to a man who she had saved under a woman's name. They were sexting and she was referring to male genitalia so I knew it was the guy I had never liked. They were die-hard Christians. My father was in rehab, doing everything he could to save our family. I understand both points of view. She didn't love him. I never told my father and it didn't matter in the end because he relapsed a few years later and they ended it for good (don't worry, it was for the best... He is healthy now and everyone is happier)."

Shelly

"I got an STI in my monogamous relationship. He ended up admitting he got a 'hand job' from his masseuse. I made him buy me $2,000 Dior shoes to say sorry and then I dumped him right after."

Carrie

"Your gut always knows... You just need the facts to catch up. I heard a conversation on the ring camera, which basically confirmed I wasn’t crazy... I still hear the voice and words from that night, more often that I'd like to."

Dana

"He literally f**ked the babysitter. How boring and predictable is that? I knew from the moment he saw her for the first time that I should be wary. I don't blame her – she was 19 and just made a bad choice. He made a series of bad decisions, though, and we are currently battling it out for custody of the kids. Sad story but it does make me laugh sometimes."

*All names have been changed for privacy. 

Feature Image: Getty.