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If you have finished House Of Cards, we need to talk. About Meecham.

*** If you love The Binge, here’s your chance to come to our first ever live-recording, in Sydney on Thursday, April 7.  Click right here to find out how. ***

Your time is up. Yes, you , over there who “really likes” House Of Cards, but hasn’t had the time to get through Season Four yet, we’re talking to you.

It’s been four weeks, people. FOUR WEEKS. That’s long enough. We have been considerate. We have avoided spoilers. We have let others stomp all over your element of surprise. ENOUGH. We’re talking.

Which is exactly what Rosie Waterland, Laura Brodnik and Jamila Rizvi did this week on The Binge.

You can listen, here:

Here’s a brief summary of what we absolutely need to discuss.

AND REMEMBER. SPOILERS.

Firstly: Meecham.

“I wanted Frank Underwood and Meecham to run off into the sunset together,” says Rosie.

At the opening of Season Five, we were all wondering if we were going to be seeing more of Meecham and Frank and Claire’s interesting “love” triangle, or squiggly line, or whatever that was back in Season 4.

We’re not sure what that was…

But, as Jamila says, as soon as we saw Meecham draw his hand on the wall of the White House, and he and Frank share something like a human moment, we knew. He was dead.

And sure enough, when the body count got going in Season Five, Meecham bit the bullet.

Happily, we just saw him pop up on streaming hit Billions. Well, not him, exactly, but the actor who plays him, Nathan Darrow.

Listen to Rosie, Jam and Laura discuss Meecham:

Claire and Frank at war is terrifying.

In their twisted little world, until now at least Claire and Frank were on the same side. But the opening episodes of Season Four put that illusion to rest. Claire leaves Frank and holes up at her mother’s. Then she returns, but only on the proviso that she gets to be the Vice President. Because, of course that might happen.

Actually, as Jamila says on The Binge, it’s perfectly legal that it might, however unlikely.

Then, a curveball. Claire takes a lover, and cue the most awkward breakfast in history, loaded up on the imagery, as Rosie Waterland notes. Sometimes a sliced apple is NOT just a sliced apple.

Pass the milk, please…

Doug. Why do we have to have Doug?

Jamila Rizvi, who has worked in politics herself, suggests that the character of weird and creepy Doug is one of the more realistic caricatures on House Of Cards. Which, you know, is terrifying in itself.

But this season, Doug out-Dougs himself when he organises for a man to die so his beloved president might live, and then proceeds to romance – if ‘romance’ could be a word applied to Doug’s creepy stalking – the dead man’s wife. Doug. We don’t like you, or your weird side stories.

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Please, writers, next time, can Doug be the one who ends up under a train? Even though watching him barely restrain himself from trying to murder Claire was almost entertaining.

Doug. Trying not to kill anyone.

Still not up to date? Watch the trailer here:

Video via Netflix

Claire’s finest-ever line.

New characters the Conways are the Republican Claire and Frank. Only with Twitter, Instagram and the cutest little family you ever did see.

And when Hannah Conway and Claire finally get to have a cosy tete-a-tete at the White House, you just knew it was going to be excellent. But then perfect English yummy mummy Hannah asks Claire if she ever regrets not having children.

And you can feel the ice through your TV screen.

Until Claire turns to Hannah and asks, “Do you regret ever having yours?”

And everything is right with the world. One of the most-perfectly written scenes in TV. Thank you, House Of Cards.

These people. Ugh.

And finally: (More) bloody murder.

When the chips are down for Frank and Claire, they know what to do. Spill some blood.

And so we get the final scene of House Of Cards Season Four, with the Underwoods sitting, unmoved, watching a hostage getting beheaded on TV.

Yes, they decided, not unlike some real-life American politicians we might know, to make terrorism work for them.

And it was truly un-nerving to watch. Unless you are Jamila. Who thought that it really didn’t go far enough.

“I absolutley loved the ending,” says Jam. “I loved that they used the politics of fear, and the parallels of Isis with the hostage scene. But I felt like it wasn’t… I’m going to sound truly evil here… it wasn’t enough. They needed to kill all three hostages. I wasn’t sad enough just about the Dad. I needed the mum and the daughter to die too, to think that Frank and Claire were really evil.”

The Underwoods: not awful enough, apparently.

People, it’s time for Jamila to step away from the remote.

What did you think of this Season of House Of Cards

Tags: celebrity , entertainment-tv
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