There are two types of families in Australia: the hot Christmas meal family, and the cold Christmas meal family.
Some will choose to battle the existing climate to recreate a traditional turkey’n’trimmings, while others have accepted our antipodean weather and adapted with prawns and Frosty Fruits.
A chilled pav here or a steamed pudding there might seem like an innocent choice when planning the Christmas festivities, but listen up: it says a LOT about who you are.
The Hot Meal Family.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring… except for Mum, who is still up preparing the ham with cloves and boutique cumquat jam.
The Hot Meal Family loves Christmas. No, they really love Christmas. From home-made wrapping paper to Carols By Candlelight, this family has the festive season in prep mode from late September.
Christmas Day with the Hot Meal Family begins before dawn. Like clockwork, they leap out of bed in their matching pyjamas and sit around their (real pine) Christmas tree to unwrap their presents. The strains of Michael Bublé’s Christmas carols can be heard through the pre-vacuumed and cleaned house.
“Oh,” says Mum, “how did you KNOW I wanted the Jamie Oliver Christmas Cookbook?”
Dad smiles sweetly. He picked up that little beauty back in February.
Then the cooking begins. While most of the spread has been prepared for days now, there are monumental tasks on the horizon. The turkey. The ham. The chook. The potatoes. The vegetables. The pudding. And, most importantly of all, the gravy.
Smoothing down the creases on the tastefully-decorated table, Mum instructs the kids on which order the cutlery needs to go in. Little on the outside, big on the inside, guys. Pinterest-inspired-origami-Christmas-tree-folded napkins to the right. Lovely.
By the time the guys arrive, the smell of roasting meat is wafting through the chilled house (air con set to 22, no higher). (Post continues after gallery.)