Tonight, we come to one of the most important season milestones in The Bachelor.
After what feels like weeks of absolutely nothing happening, it’s finally time for the home visits – essentially, an opportunity for Matty J to meet the families of his four girlfriends and make some snap judgements about which ones he can deal with and which ones he most definitely cannot.
But before we buy into the frankly absurd narrative of four women who have beautiful family homes and parents who take their most recent romantic endeavour seriously, can we be straight up for a moment?
Having your partner meet your family for the first time is nothing like it is on The Bachelor. The house is never clean, your parents aren't all that interested, your dog is stressed and confused, there's one relative that goes rogue and makes you want to die, and there's always, ALWAYS, someone who's not wearing pants.
When my partner first met my family, my cousin Simon, who has an intellectual disability, happened to be over. Now, I love my cousin Simon. He is legitimately one of my best friends. But when you're introducing him to the guy you really like and are currently trying to impress - he can be a little intense.
So Simon is (obviously) waiting at the front door to greet/ambush any potential visitors. He's rubbing his hands together enthusiastically. Immediately when my partner arrives, Simon wants to know the following information: who are you, why are you here, what time did you start work, what time did you finish work, what do you do for work, what is your mums name, what does she do, where do you live, how long will you be here for, and SIMON SERIOUSLY LET HIM INSIDE PLS.