
"Well, of course you'll let her do whatever she wants," she said. "Because you always do."
And just like that, friends, I discovered that I am not a strict parent.
Watch: Be a good mum. Post continues below.
There are some moments in life where you suddenly, sharply see yourself through someone else's eyes. An unguarded comment, a pointed observation that slides under the ribcage, hammers a quick jab to the gut.
"Do I?" I replied. My acquaintance smiled indulgently and changed the subject, suddenly remembering she was talking out loud, and that pointed comments about other people's parenting are usually delivered by your inside voice.
Do I? I've been thinking, ever since. Do I, though?
I'd been talking about whether or not my daughter - who's about to turn 11 - should be allowed to give up on an activity she's been doing for a while.
Parents understand why this is a vexing issue. Your child said they wanted to do it. You paid for it. They tried it, they didn't like it. Now every day that they have to go turns into a toxic whinge-fest.
It's ruining your life to have the same argument on repeat, and to drag them there, sulking. But still, you paid for it. And isn't there something-something about resilience and commitments and follow-through and showing up and... Yes, you're familiar with this dilemma.
"I don't know," I'd said to this woman, who I know semi-well, through kids. "I've told her how disappointed I'll be if she doesn't follow through with it, but also, I'm sick of the battle it takes to get her there every week. I just don't think it's worth it..."
Reading that back, even I'm irritated by my wishy-washiness. It's hardly surprising it annoyed my friend enough for her to tell me the truth.