Is it normal that... I want to go on holiday without my family?

I really, really need a break. But is leaving my family behind unforgivable?

I find myself constantly fantasising about taking a holiday on my own, just me, travelling somewhere I’ve never been or going to a retreat to relax. Does that make me a terrible parent?

I’ve always fantasised about a weekend away here and there and my husband has offered to look after the kids so I can do it, but I always cancel at the last minut, because I feel too guilty.

But as I get closer to 40, I’m actually starting to physically crave a break. Just two weeks on my own, exploring the world or relaxing somewhere.

I started seriously thinking about it recently when I wrote myself a ‘bucket list’ of things I want to achieve by the time I turn 40. I showed it to my husband and he immediately saw, “Travel to Europe” and pointed out that for a family of five, it would cost upwards of $30,000.

“What if I just went on my own for a couple of weeks,” I suggested.

“You’d do that?” he asked, incredulously. Wow, nice non-judgement.

Yes I would do that, but not without his support. Everyone in my family has traveled except for me. They all went to Europe either after uni or on their honeymoons. My husband and I didn’t take a honeymoon. He had just started a business so we missed out.

I’ve always resented the fact we didn’t take a holiday and as I watch families around me continue to travel, I feel even more sad. Because I’ve never been anywhere.

My children are aged 12, 11 and 9 so in roughly nine years time they’ll all be over 18 and I can go on a cruise, but nine years is a long time. Do I really have to wait that long?

Wanting to take a holiday as a family is one thing, but wanting to escape own is another. I feel like a terrible person.

Is it normal to want to take a holiday without my family? Should I just go away for the weekend?

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