Gloriously pretentious: Inside the secret sex lives of hipsters.

We’ve all wondered. We’ve all looked at the girl with the half shaved head in iridescent Doc Martins and a psychedelic vintage Kangol jumper, and the dude next to her with an identical haircut, wearing the same exact same outfit. We’ve looked at them and thought ‘I wonder what their sex life is like.’

Well wonder no more, curious muggle, because achingly hip culture bible Dazed and Confused has done a sex survey of its readers and discovered…

Hipsters are probably more sexually adventurous than you. The survey polled 10,500 cool kids from all over the world. And let’s just say the results are full on. Here’s what we learned.

Nicky Minaj on the cover of Dazed’s ‘Twisted Fantasy’ issue, where the results of the survey were featured.

1. They want something else

A whopping 40% of them said they enjoy having sex while on drugs. Typical sex surveys don’t ask this question. Because they’re not cool enough.

2. They’re so vain

Half of those surveyed have taken naked selfies (why not), but, more surprisingly 34% of them said they’ve videoed themselves having sex. Meanwhile 3% (mostly blokes) would have sex on camera “if I got paid”.

Kendall Jenner getting arty on the cover of Dazed’s latest issue.

3. They get around

36% of the legends people surveyed said they’d had sex with more than one person in a day. The hook up tool of choice? Well, it depends. For gay participants smart phone apps like Grindr, Brenda and Scruff were king. Meanwhile for heteros, only 10% used apps as their primary way of meeting people. Meanwhile, if you believed love was “everything” you were more likely to find the idea of having sex with multiple partners on the same day “disgusting”.

4. They have sex on fire

Only 35% of straight male readers said they always use protection (ew), and the people who never had protected sex were the least likely to get regular tests for STDs. Sigh.

5. They like bizarre love triangles (and squares, and hexagons)

A whopping 20% – that’s one in five – view polyamory as the ultimate way to date. The strongest advocates of the poly lifestyle were the bisexuals, and men were more into it than women.

You can check out the whole survey here.

Do any of these stats surprise you?