real life

Help! Her boyfriend spent $6,000 at a strip club

According to Relationships Australia money is one of the top four causes of conflict in a relationship.  This can be a huge issue within an already established relationship but when people come into relationships with polar opposite views on money and budgeting …. and then you add $6,000 at a strip club…well.  Amanda* writes


My partner and I have been together for about four years. We do live together but it is a bit of an unusual situation as he works in a mine in Western Australia for two weeks on and one week off. I am in Sydney. We have two common financial goals – saving for a house deposit and also an overseas trip next year – however we are just not on the same page when it comes to managing money.

I am a planner and a budgeter. I put my required savings away each week and am on track to meet our savings target by the end of the year. He has no plan at all and just puts away bits and pieces as he can. He is on quite a good wage but seems to think that because he earns a lot of money that he can just waste it.

This brings me to the dilemma I am currently facing. My partner attended a bucks party on the weekend where he spent $6,000 (yes that is six thousand dollars) at a strip club. I don’t have an issue with the strippers, I knew they were going to the club, it is the money I am absolutely furious about.

I can’t believe one person can spend this much money in one night and I am so angry that he has so little respect for our financial goals that he would do this. It has thrown up all sorts of questions for me – Is this something he might do at every bucks night he attends? What if we had a family and he went and did this and then we couldn’t meet our commitments (when we do buy a house)? Why should I have to be the bad guy and insist that he leave his credit cards at home when he goes out on the town? Is this something I am going to have to watch for the rest of our lives?

And the list goes on and on!

What do you think about financial compatibility and how important it is in a relationship? Would the $6,000  issue  be a deal breaker for anyone else and I should I perhaps keep our finances separated in the long term. Also has anyone had separate finances and made it work.