When you are first looking at your beautiful and peaceful sleeping newborn with their perfect little nose and their perfect little toes, all you are seeing is perfection.
Which is how it should be. Sure, you’ve changed some pretty rank nappies by around week two but this is in accordance with all of your expectations and research.
What you are not told however, is that your children will eventually bring home some very disgusting afflictions and pass them on to you.
I’m going to lay it out for you. Children, of all ages, are disgusting. They really are. They don’t stop being gross until they are at least 18 years of age. They pick their nose, they pick their bums, they leave unthinkable things in the waste paper basket in the corner of their rooms. And they also bring home some pretty nasty things from school and day care that will transfer directly to your person.
For those who are already on the frontline with me, you will have experienced or at least understand the following. If however, you are new to the game or the vile “gift” your child is about to give you, consider this a heads up. Consider this my gift to you
Nits. These little parasites rely on sucking the blood from your children’s scalp for their very survival.
And, then, through loving cuddles and hugs, they transfer onto yours.
Not only did I spend hours hothousing, killing and combing these things from my daughter’s head, I also had to double my efforts to eradicate these bastards from my own scalp. Have you seen my hair? I am like the Paddle Pop Lion. I have a mane of curly, unruly hair and those little fuckers had a field day.
I went so far as to buy an Electric Nit comb which was meant to fry them but in reality, did nothing. I honestly think that every parent has to find their own secret solution to get rid of them. Mine involved conditioner, an array of oils and hours of combing and prevention. All you as a parent need to know is that no matter how clean your child, you will find at least one of these suckers and their eggs in your child’s scalp.
No one is immune.
When you see your child digging for gold in the back of their undies or are simply famished and never satisfied, get thee to a chemist. Let me tell you a little bit about these guys:
- Threadworm (Most Common) – Shared by EATING the eggs of the worms. These are often found in your child’s poo. Most commonly shared when children don’t wash their hands because they scratch parts of themselves (their bums) and then put their hands in their mouths. Yup.
- Ringworm – not a parasitic infection at all but a persistent fungal infection. Often spread by felines.
- Hookworm – rare in Australia
- Whipworm – rare in Australia
- Tapeworm – occurs in Australia, particularly in sheep farming areas
- Roundworm – while rare in Australia, this is the most common parasitic infection in the world
The thing is that all of the above are easily treated with some delicious chocolate- NO, you don’t understand; the worming medicine is somehow cleverly disguised in a serve of chocolate and the kids happily take it.Worm free children
Scabies are tiny mites that burrow into the skin and cause one of the itchiest rashes that has ever itched. It’s spread by direct contact with other people with an infestation.