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“Please, tell me what you really think”: The 14 things not to say to a twin parent.

After nearly three years on this earth as a twin parent, I’ve been asked some pretty odd questions and received an array of comments, from heart-warming compliments to flabbergastingly offensive insults. 

From little old ladies simply delighted by the sheer sight of two kindred cherubs, to people's passive aggressive advice based on their experience raising twins they never had.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any more interesting, I fell pregnant when my twins were 3.5 months old.

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It was like I had a sign on my forehead saying, “Please… tell me what you really think”.

One time I was walking through a shopping centre pushing my 10-month-old twins, and a woman was halfway through telling me how adorable they were, when she caught a glimpse of my heavily pregnant belly and interrupted herself by yelling at me, “What have you done to yourself!?”

So, on behalf of all twin mums, I thought I’d break it down and answer the most common questions and statements we receive. 

Obviously some answers vary depending on what type of twins you have (yes, there are different types of twins!) 

And I’m going to start with my favourite…

1. “Are they twins?” 

Who? These two? Nah I just push around this double pram with my kid plus some random baby that I borrowed from a neighbour which happens to look exactly like my kid. 

Yes they’re twins.

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2. Yes I have my hands full.

All day and all night! Hands full of babies, full of sh*tty nappies, full of bottles, full of washing, full of wine. You name it…my hands are holding it! Full hands, fuller heart. 

3. Yes they’re identical. 

See how they look so exactly the same that you can't even tell the difference? Yep, identical! 

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4. No, twins don’t run in my family.

Fraternal twins are genetic, identical twins are a random act of nature!

5. No, my boy/girl twins are not identical… 

I don’t even know what more to say here other than no… that is not possible.

6. Yes I fed them at the same time. 

Two babies, two tits, two bottles. You know what one baby looks like feeding? Just imagine another one doing the exact same thing at the same time! 

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In fact, I try to get them to do pretty much everything at the same time. Sleep at the same time. Play at the same time. Hell, sometimes they even sh*t at the same time!

7. "Are they natural?"

Sorry, what? Well they aren’t robots! Is your question actually meaning how were they conceived? Weird! 

8. "Can you tell them apart?"

Sure can! From the sounds of their voices to the back of their heads. My husband constantly mixes them up though.

9. No, the two children you had really close together is NOT like having twins.

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10. "Did you have a vaginal birth?"

No. One came out each ankle! What did you say your name was again? 

11. Yes I always dress them the same.

I don’t know why. It becomes obsessive. Everything must match! My twin mum friends who don’t dress their kids the same think I’m crazy! But it’s actually easier and there are no arguments about who wants to wear what.

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12. Oh that’s so interesting to know your friend’s next door neighbour’s sister’s uncle’s cat’s owner had twins. 


13. "Double Trouble!"

Yes, and double the love!

14. I don’t know how I do it either. 

But I just do! And while it’s crazy and exhausting and hard and absolute mayhem... it’s worth it. And I believe you're only given what you can handle.

Feature Image: Supplied.


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