For most women, having sex for the first time is a source of anxiety.
There’s fear of the unknown. You’ve heard it hurts. You’re not sure if you’re ready, or what it’s meant to feel like.
From the women I spoke to for this story, it would seem having sex for the first time after childbirth, elicits a similar emotional response.
The first-post-baby-sexy-time is not something your mum (ordinarily) warns you about. If you’re the first among your friends to have a baby, it might be an awkward subject to bring up over dinner. It’s not number one on the agenda at your mother’s group, nor was it on the curriculum at school.
You push a baby the size of a watermelon out of your vagina, or undergo major surgery in the form of a C-Section… and then what?
LISTEN: Bec Judd on bringing her first baby home. Post continues below.
As a woman who has never had a baby, there is so much I don’t understand. How long do you wait? Is it painful? Will sex always feel different?
I surveyed 25 women who gave me some understanding of what sex for the first time post birth is like, and their responses were enlightening to say the least.
How long did you wait to have sex?
According to Sydney-based midwife Krystal Dirkins, most women wait until around the six-week mark.
“I always suggest that women wait until their postnatal check up and until post-partum bleeding has finished (to avoid any risk of infection),” Dirkins told Mamamia.
The overwhelming majority of women interviewed waited six weeks, with the shortest amount of time being 13 days.
Top Comments
I'm sorry but I think if it hurts then you're doing some or a lot of things wrong. 1) wait until post 6 weeks. Longer if you have had stitches/bruising that's still healing. 2) make sure you're relaxed. Have a warm bath, a glass of wine etc... 3) foreplay and LOTS of it. I mean well over 30 minutes of just foreplay. For YOU. If your partner is too eager he's an ass (I"ve had friends with husbands that thought just a few minutes of foreplay would cut it because they couldn't wait. Idiots) and you should shut up shop. 4) fingers/small toys first. self explanatory. 5) lube. use it. 6) simple positions you (not your partner) find most comfortable. 7) take it slowly. 8) enjoy yourself. Coincidentally, I waited 8 weeks. I had lots and lots of stitches. Did all of the above and in addition to that, 'tested' it out solo when hubby wasn't home. Try that too. It's always better when you know your own body. If you do find it painful, stop. Try again in a few days/week or so. IF it still hurts then I would go to the dr. If everything has been done right in terms of sewing you up correctly and you're healed, you shouldn't be in pain, especially if you've prepared properly.
I had a planned home birth with #3 (after a CS for a breech then a very quick VBAC with #2 in hospital big baby, no episiotomy, no drugs, intact perineum)
I was ready for sex within days and had minimul post partum bleeding. My (then) husband made me wait a week!
I was walking almost daily prior to birth of #3 and was back out walking 2 days later.
My body went back to normal very quickly (periods returned at 6/7 weeks) and I was breastfeeding.
It really does depend on what you are comfortable with.