You’re pregnant with a baby girl and you think they are less smelly and disgusting than a baby boy, you poor, deluded fool.
We just want to warn you – interrupting your dreams about a sweet smelling little stunner who has the aroma of baby powder and the poo of a tidy princess – that girls can be just as much of a handful as boys.
And you thought pooy penis‘ were complicated.
Here’s 14 things no one tells you about having a baby girl, as explained by the very wise iVillage mummy posse. They have all the wisdom…
1. Poo gets in their thingy.
Yep, when poo is ‘loose’, as in runny, it tends to get into the folds, so you have to clean in the folds. And you thought lifting up the penis and cleaning up under there would be hard.
2. They get UTIs.
Stuff gets in there from dirty nappies and other things, so baby girls do get UTIs. Also when cleaning their soiled nappies you need to wipe from front to back. They might be uncomfortable when they wee and have a temperature. Take them to the doctor. They need antibiotics to get over the UTI.
3. They masturbate, sometimes in public.
Girls quickly learn that touching themselves feels good so they do it. They might use their fingers or press themselves against toys. Ignore it or distract them with another activity. Don’t reprimand them. They don’t really know what they are doing.
4. The get gassy.
The rule seems to be that the cuter and more adorable the baby girl, the louder they fart. It can be quite alarming, and funny, and sometimes a touch awkward.
5. They do things sooner.
Anecdotal evidence (from our mummy posse) and some research suggests that baby girls do things sooner, like crawl and walk and talk. That means they get themselves into mischief sooner. So baby proof quickly. Don't wait.
6. They are more emotional.
Several of our mums swear that their girls were way more emotional than their boys, even in those early months. You know how sometimes babies cry for no reason and it is labelled in baby books as 'tension release'. Girls release A LOT of tension.
7. They get discharge.
Vaginas are vaginas from day dot so get ready for discharge. Similar rules apply to adult female discharge. It is deemed 'normal' as long as it is whitish and not to smelly. Anything else? Take them to the doctor. Yes, they can get yeast infections.
8. Soap and vaginas don't mix.
It is tempting to scrub your newborn clean but try and avoid using a lot of soap around their genitals as that can cause infections and rashes too. Just let it soak in the bathwater and don't worry to much about it.
9. They can get a 'mini period'.
Okay, so baby girls can have a 'mini period' post birth but it is normally a one-off and nothing to worry too much about. Apparently it is caused by a drop in hormones from mum just before birth.
10. They have strong opinions about what they wear from a very young age.
Several of our mums swear that as soon as they can express themselves, girls will demostrate very strong opinions about what you try and dress them in. One of our mums says one of the first things her daughter learned to say was "no purple" which she would scream whenever she saw any purple clothing.
Vagina bits can be quite swollen after birth. It will all settle down eventually. It can look quite large and red and angry for a bit. Soon your daughter's vagina will fit the rest of her body much better.
12. Sometimes their pee goes up.
You know how in movies baby boys pee straight up into your face and everybody laughs? Do you think baby girls can't pee straight up like that? They can, so get the clean nappy on quickly.
13. Leaky boobs.
Once again, thanks to those silly hormones passed from mother to child, your daughter might have swollen and/or leaky boobs shortly after birth. Once again, disturbing but normal.
14. Check the opening.
Sometimes a baby girl's vagina opening can close or fuse a bit. This requires medical attention. When you change your baby girl's nappy clean all the bits and make sure the vagina opening isn't having any problems like this.
Do you have any to add to the list?
CLICK THOUGH the gallery to see the most searched for baby girl names of 2014.
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